by Dr. Heléna Kate | Jun 12, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
- Be Present – Whatever you are doing, wherever you are, be all there. Be present. In the moment. Eliminate distractions.
- Show Up Early – Take the necessary action steps to map out your route and arrive to places early. Lead by example and respect other people’s time.
- Look Sharp – First impressions are very important. Take good care of yourself and dress sharp.
- Be Prepared and Proactive – You have to be quick on your feet. Be prepared and always be ready to over-deliver. Because you never know what is going to come at you.
- The Quality of Your Words is Key – It is not how much you say, but the quality of what you say that counts.
- Confidence is Key – A humble but confident person is an extraordinary person. Take great pride in what you do and be proud of who you are.
- Keep your Integrity – Make the decision in life to always go with what is best for your life. Always keep your integrity in life.
- Give to others – Whatever you do in life, look at how you can contribute to other’s success and happiness.
- Celebrate your Uniqueness – Your differences to others is what makes you extraordinary. Don’t try to blend in. Celebrate who you are. Your imperfections and all.
- Own Your Life. – You’ve got one life. So own it. Take responsibility for it. Create it how you want it. Really Live It.
- Always Be a Student of Life -Always strive to learn and grow through life. You can never learn enough in life.
- Respect Others – Don’t judge. Respect others. Be always acutely aware of where you came from. As quickly as you can rise, you can fall down.
- Be a Mentor – Be that person that people learn from. Be an inspiration to others. Be there for them.
- Have Balance. – Establish a life that has a healthy balance that works for your life.
- Walk the Talk – Lead by example. Don’t just talk about things. Get busy and take action on things!
reblogged from smartchic.com
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Mar 23, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Have you ever felt victimized in your life or met someone who is constantly be running the “poor me” story and feels completely powerless to change their reality? Chances are you have. We all have at one point in our lives felt like victims, but why is it that some people identify with the personality of victimization while others choose to get up, reclaim their personal power and take full responsibility for the outcomes they have manifested in their lives? And why is it that people who are compassionate tend to attract victims to their lives? Or why do victims sometimes end up as perpetrators and lash out at those who are trying to help them?
Victimization is an epidemic in our society and in this article we will uncover the minute details of the Professional Victim Archetypes and its multiple manifestations and relationship dynamics. Remember that these are archetypes, personas and manifestations of the shadow self. Do not confuse the description of the archetypes with your essence or the essence of another person, for no one is truly a victim, but rather some of us simply have chosen to unconsciously identify with these archetypes.
Professional Victim Persona:
Victim of the world. Blames everyone and everything, including their own incompetence, irresponsibility and even predatory behaviors. Victims expect special treatment or exemption from life because he/she is so fragile and decimated by tyrants. They will often attack even those who are trying to help them and may often collapse into dysfunction “you can’t expect anything from me.”
Addictions: powerlessness, worry and cynicism
Goal: regain safety
Fear: exploitation
Issue: Is “victimized” by the conditions required by solutions. In order for victims to heal their victimization they must take full responsibility for their life and its outcomes.
Virtue: once the victim persona is transcended the person becomes interdependent.
Victims point the finger of blame at everyone else except themselves. Blaming everyone (family, relationships, co-workers, friends, teachers, healers, coaches, etc.) and everything (government , media, weather, economy,etc.) for why they are unhappy and life is such a struggle. Victims do not take responsibility for their own happiness, they believe that the responsibility for their happiness is owed to them by other people. Victims find compassionate people and then blame them because they are not happy. People who are identified with the victim persona are not fun to be around because even compassionate people will eventually turn into tyrants in order to get rid off the victim. At first when a compassionate person engages with a victim they think “I must help him/her” and they do anything possible to help this person. Then the victim keeps blaming the compassionate person because they are not happy or not feeling well and then one day the compassionate person who is playing the Rescuer Archetype explode and turns into the tyrant.
Victim-Persecutor-Rescuer Complex:
If you play the rescuer and the person you are rescuing does not need it, they will lash out and victimize you. When they become the persecutor and victimize you, later they are likely to feel guilty and try to save you as well, making them the rescuer. If a person plays one of these roles then they will most likely end up playing all three. These roles tend to cycle and repeat over and over again – a classic “karmic loop.”
Victims are very addicted to the emotions of hatred and pity. They project their own self hatred to others and constantly tell their “poor me” story so that other people feel pity towards them. Victims are energy vampires and they extract energy from other people who have pity for them. Another way victims get their energy is by putting a guilt trip on everyone by blaming them. This is exactly why compassionate people tend to attract victims.
Compassionate People Persona:
If a compassionate person has unresolved guilt from past lives, the guilt makes us blind to victims.Our willingness to help other people because we are trying to get rid of our own guilt makes us easy prey for victims. Compassionate people are often emotionally addicted to the need to be needed. There is a big difference from TRUE COMPASSION and emotional neediness.. Sometimes true compassion requires us to tell victims that we will not accept their guilt anymore and ask them to leave.This is compassion because it encourages the victim to become independent and sovereign.
Victims will often say “I have tried everything” as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility and will blame the methods, techniques and healers for their own unhappiness. Many people in the coaching and healing industry are compassionate people with good intentions that unfortunately attract a lot of victims who only want to do is suck their energy and are not really committed to become their own rescuers, take responsibility and do the work that needs to be done. Although victims have tried many different approaches, many victims will keep telling themselves and other people same story of how “my life was devastated”, “I’m so unlucky”, “life has been so cruel”, “some of us are not meant to be happy” or “no matter what I do nothing works”. Their reality will never change as long as they keep running and identifying with the same story. As long as they expect other people to “make” them happy and do all the work for them NOTHING will change, they might get a relief but soon enough they will go back to their own ways. We all have seen people who have gone through incredible hardships of abuse, poverty and other misfortunes only to become people who inspire others with their stories of success, happiness and triumph. All of them have one thing in common, they didn’t let their circumstances define who they were and they became extremely hungry and believed they could defy all odds. They simply changed their story, gave it a new meaning and took massive action to achieve what they envisioned.
If you have identified with the Victim Persona it is time to clear this energetically from your field and reclaim your personal power. Only then will you be able to take full responsibility for your own happiness, take charge of your life and become ALIVE again. If you are a compassionate person or you are playing the Rescuer Archetype is time to energetically clear your unconscious guilt, the need to be needed and begin to focus on helping those who actually are willing to receive your help and will benefit from it. If you were once a victim and someone told you to leave, be grateful for the opportunity to become independent and sovereign.
Commit to eradicate all thoughts, behaviors, words and rituals that resonate with victimization, blame and guilt. Take full responsibility, embody your personal power and become the master of your own destiny.
reblogged from ascendedrelationships.com
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Mar 16, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Self-care is a privilege.
It is something privileged people get to think about and attend to. And, yes at this point in my life I am privileged to think about it myself.
I am grateful for that. But there is something more to it as well. At the heart of self-care is self-love and that is available to everyone.
And, the more we can bring that self-love into our lives the more that we can become who we want to become and create what we want to create. Even more importantly the more we can truly enjoy our lives –the good and the bad.
Self-Love is a birth right.
Does not matter where you come from, how much money you have, or how many resources you are connected to you always have access to the foundational self-care tool – self-love. Having, holding, and experiencing love in our selves for ourselves is the highest personal development achievement and the most basic stepping stone.
So, how do we get more of it?
Pick any area of your life where you feel angry, sad or any negative emotion. What is the circumstance that produces these thoughts and feelings? How is it that you have come to believe that you are wrong, bad, or unlovable?
Bring some understanding to this place where no love exists. How might a person find themselves in this situation? What might they struggle with?
Then bring some compassion to the situation. How challenging might it be to have these difficult emotions? Allow an image of yourself to come forward that represents this struggling part of yourself.
Now, bring some love to these confused and painful parts. Think of a time when you felt love. Spend a moment really bringing in the feeling. Now focus it on that image that you have conjured of yourself suffering.. Let the love infuse the image and feel the shift taking place inside of yourself.
Want more ways to cultivate self-love so you can care deeply for yourself? I am hosting a FREE video summit, Unstoppable: Self Care for Fearless Living – an incredible resource of daily interviews that will having your feeling inspired and connected. Starts Monday, the 17th – sign up now!
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Mar 13, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Organization, healthy habits, down time and time to be your bad-ass self, all of it is self care.
But, really truly deeply self care is about self-love. Do we even know what that means? I personally think that it is a process, an unfolding. As we look at the parts that we are unable to love or that we outright mistreat and find our way back to a space where we can love them we naturally start to do more of the things that take care of us.
Three tips for self care:
Find where you are unconscious: Unfortunately, most of our life is spent walking around asleep. We go through the motions but don’t really connect in with ourselves or what is happening in the present moment. We are stuck in the past or the future.
Find the places in your life where you are on autopilot and your whole life will change for the better.
Take quiet time every day: Does it all seem like a blur? Well it will be if you do not find the time to stop, drop, and listen. Even 5 minutes a day of quite time will go a long way.
Ask yourself “Am I loving myself right now?”: Self-love like so many other things that are good for us are a practice. The more we practice the more we develop the skill.
Link the question \”Am I loving myself?\” to things like brushing your teeth and eating breakfast so that you can become more aware of whether you are loving yourself or not.
Is cultivating self-care important to you? March 17th – 21st I am hosting a FREE video summit, Unstoppable: Self Care for Fearless Living. Watch inspirational video interviews that will help you dive into the heart of caring for all of who you are. Sign up here
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Dec 5, 2013 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
I swear I have a little gremlin inside that pokes me every time I don\’t get the results I want. And with this poke, all of a sudden I am back in grade school wondering why I was never the first person picked for anything.
Crazy! And common! All in one package. Funny thing is — or not so funny — people believe they are \”not supposed to\” feel this way. I am not saying we should just take this interior abuse. I am just saying we should stop trying to hide from it.
We are social animals and have developed biologically to care what others think. The people who tell you they are totally over this are either enlightened or lying.
The likelihood that we are going to entirely escape this emotional jab to the ribs is slim. However, there are potential solutions that makes this more bearable. I am going to give you three.
- Surround yourself with good people.
- Love what you do.
- Stay in integrity with yourself.
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