by Dr. Heléna Kate | Sep 11, 2017 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog, Uncategorized
L. O. V. E. Four simple letters that spell a very BIG word. Even the most eloquent of us, from John Keats to Carrie Bradshaw, have stumbled over words as big as LOVE. We’ve all been there, and we’ve all set an intention for love in hopes of avoiding these stumbles. Whether we are entering into new relationships, or refreshing old ones, we have a vision of what they will be. We might want to set the course in a new direction, or bring in someone who does not replicate the problematic situations of previous relationships. Whatever the specifics of our intention for love, it is a focus on what is important to us now and what we want to experience in the future.
Intentionality is an important practice that, with understanding and dedication, can bring beneficial change to our lives. For one thing, intentions take work. We do not just wish things into being. We set an intention, and then we identify and practice the things that will support that intention. For another, it is important to practice intention without attachment. Intention without attachment means creating and holding an intention without becoming attached to a specific manifestation of the outcome of that intention. Setting an intention for love is no different.
What you need to know about setting an intention for love is that you will still stumble in love (or out of it) despite your best intentions, and that’s ok.
No amount of intention for love will save us from seeing what we need to see and learning what we need to learn, through relationship. No matter how awkward or painful, some lessons are only learned through experience. And that’s just the way it is. The best thing you can do is learn how to be more loving with yourself and others so that, whether or not your intention for love manifests, you can be in relationship with clarity, understanding, and conviction.
If you are ready to open yourself up to bring love into your life, you should be happy and proud of your assuredness in doing so. Know that Love is a journey, not a destination, and use these reminders to help you set your intention for love.
REMINDERS FOR SETTING POSITIVE INTENTIONS FOR LOVE
Be clear: I can’t tell you how many people I have heard say, “I made a list of exactly what I wanted in a partner and I met him/her! It is uncanny how he/she is everything on the list.” It is true that if you are clear about what you want, you will find it. So, go ahead! Make your list, and make sure it includes everything you can think of that you want.
Open to more: The flip-side to the list exercise is the reality that we don’t know what we don’t know. Your most detailed list of the traits you know you want in a partner won’t include the traits you didn’t think of – which might be wonderful – or the traits you’ve never encountered – which might be challenging. We want to be open to what is in our highest and best interest, regardless of whether we are consciously aware of it or not.
Hold onto the feeling:The best way to stay on track with an intention is to connect with the feeling that is associated with this intention. By connecting and reconnecting with this feeling, we are strengthening our process and intensifying our result. If we become doubtful or hopeless, it is this feeling that will help us stay the course.
Get rid of the baggage: It is hard to get something you do not feel like you deserve. If you have unresolved emotions or negative beliefs that are holding you back from being free and clear to get what you want, I suggest you do what is necessary to get them out of the way. A Breakthrough session with me can be helpful in this regard. However, you want to pay attention to when and where negative emotions and beliefs show up after you set your intention. This will help you open and receive what you truly want.
Remain unattached: To get what you really want you can’t get sidetracked by everything that is almost what you want. This means that when presented with an option that falls short, you acknowledge the shortcoming and let it go, holding your intention for what you truly want. It also means that when something comes your way, you both accept that it might be what you are truly looking for and give it the space and time to be what it truly is.
Learn to receive: We can be as intentional as we can be, but unless we learn to receive, our intention will not come to fruition. Receiving is an art that can be practiced. If you think that you might be challenged in this area, then start small. Start receiving compliments, gifts, and well-wishes as completely as you can. This practice will help you get more of whatever you want in your life, including love.
I help people set positive intentions for their life and achieve them. To learn more, click here to sign up for my newsletter or click here to learn more about my programs.
by Dr. Heléna Kate | Jul 24, 2017 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog, Uncategorized
Most of us are aware that being intentional has many benefits for our life, but did you know that the key to really getting results is intention without attachment?
Intention without attachment means creating and holding an intention without becoming attached to a specific manifestation of the outcome of that intention. When we become attached to an outcome looking, or being, a certain way, we activate our fears related to having or not having it. This fear then shows up as a block in our path or draws negativity to it. This is often the reason why some people come to believe that setting intentions does not work.
Attachment is our over-investment in a particular outcome. We become attached because of some pain from the past that still haunts us, or because of an unmet need we have. In short, we become attached because of fear – fear that we might be hurt the way we were or suffer the same disappointment. This fear is potent. It is very often stronger than our new found intention and, because of this, creates chaos where we are trying to create order.
When we begin to notice that we have attachments that do not serve us, we are likely to wonder how we might let them go so that we can have more of what we want and create a happier life. However, we may not know how to let go of them.
One thing that we can do is recognize our unmet needs and begin to meet them in healthier ways. When we do this they cease getting in our way. We get stronger, healthier, and happier.
Another thing that we can do to let go of attachment is to begin to heal the pains of the past. In this case, it means fully mourning what was lost or not attained and coming to terms with the inevitable disappointments of life in a way that allows us to fully embrace a different tomorrow, despite the risks involved.
When we do this, our fear of having events repeat themselves diminishes, and, with it, our attachment to the outcome. We are left with a positive intention for what we want to bring into our life and we know we will be OK regardless of whether or not this need is met. Without the need for any more effort, we are at peace. This peace translates into a deep happiness that we can be both open to what we want and trust enough to know that what we get is what we truly need.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Apr 12, 2016 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
One of the main problems we run into when we create something new is that we focus on what we don\’t want to see happen, so much so that we forget to get clear about what we do want. This is true whether we’re starting a new business, a new relationship, or a new habit. Inevitably, when we pay more attention to what we don’t want we’re not able to see what we do want and how we can achieve or attain it. Intention is a big buzz word these days – from yoga classes to business journals. Let\’s break down what intention is really all about.
Intention is:
- The energy we focus on a desired outcome whether it be positive or negative.
- Our conscious thoughts and feelings about an outcome.
- Our unconscious thoughts and feelings about an outcome.
In essence, intention is the energy we focus on a particular outcome. As you\’ve probably experienced, how we use our energy can have a huge affect on what happens in our lives! Intention is also our conscious – and often times our unconscious – thoughts and feelings about an outcome. So, what we think and feel about what we want makes a big difference in our ability to bring it into our lives.
Even when we\’ve made our intention clear, sometimes we don’t get what we\’ve set out for. Other times, we intend for one thing to happen and something entirely unexpected occurs. When your intention does not match your outcome, pay attention. It\’s these moments that give us clues that something we\’re doing might be keeping us from the results we seek.
Often times, we have lots of unconscious thoughts that oppose our conscious ones. When this happens, we\’re unaware of what we\’re doing that creates undesired outcomes. Another thing may of us do is that we spend a lot of time ruminating on our negative intentions. When we do this, we can\’t see when possibilities to get what we want present themselves. This is because we\’re so focused on what we don’t want that we fail to see an opportunity to get what we do want.
The good news is that we can change how we use our energy. Getting to know ourselves better and building some new habits can go a long way towards creating the outcomes we desire. Here are three things that you can do today to help bring your intentions into being.
Recognize Your Unconscious Opposition for What It Is
This one can be tricky. It\’s pretty clear that we\’re not aware of what we\’re not aware of (duh!). So, how do we turn this around? In this instance, personal development work is the answer. When we examine ourselves and look for our blind spots, we\’re generally able to find them. Personal development work helps us see how our thoughts, beliefs, and actions might have created the “negative intentions” that have held us back. And when we\’re aware of our blind spots, we\’re able to change our thinking so that we can begin to see the things we did not see before.
Be Patient with Yourself While You\’re Building New Habits
A funny thing happens when we start using positive intentions. We may spend a few moments of each day focused on something we want to happen. And then we spend the rest of our day in our default mode – which is the same mode that got us where we didn\’t want to be in the first place. All too often, we get frustrated and assume that our effort to bring about our intention is just not working. What we fail to remember in these moments is that it takes time to set a new default. And, it takes more time than saying an affirmation three times a day. So, be patient with yourself. Anything that focuses our energy in a positive direction is helpful, but it may take time to see the big results.
Practice Creative Thinking
Our negativity limits our thinking. It stops us from seeing what we could have or could create. And, quite frankly, when we spend time focused on what we don’t want, we have little time left over to imagine what we do want. To counteract this, take time each day to come up with creative ways to bring more of what you want into your life. What solutions haven\’t you thought of? What could you do today that would be different and exciting? The point here is to practice thinking about what you can do and what you\’d have fun doing. Creative thinking is linked to positive thinking. And when you can do both, your dreams can grow big.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Nov 11, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
In one week, I am starting my LifeWork Community program. If you relate to my blog, workshops or book and you are not too far a drive from Providence, you really need to talk to me about this program! LifeWork Community is about creating a fabulous, intentional, creative and impactful life. It is going to be amazing and I know you will want in.
Email admin@projectspace.in to find out more!
The first workshop in this new program is about being more intentional. Until we know just what we want to create and some of the steps we know we need to take to consistently to make it happen, we tend to be less satisfied, have less of a sense of meaning, and get hit or miss results.
There is this great question that I read somewhere, I can’t remember where right now. It is: What would you want if you were absolutely certain you would get it?
Take a moment to think about that.
Is your answer any different than what you are going about creating on a regular basis? If it is, this is a perfect place to employ the practice of intention.
What if your intention was to create what you really want instead of what you have convinced yourself that you can have?
What would you need to do on a regular basis to be as likely as possible to create what it is that you truly want? And, who would you need to be in order to reach that desired goal for yourself?
These questions are at the heart of intentional and fulfilled living.
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