by Dr. Heléna Kate | Jun 3, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
- Lighten up! Don’t get your panties in a wad about every little thing that happens.
- Forget blame. You can fix the blame or you can fix the problem. Spend your time fixing the problem.
- Forget guilt. Guilt serves little purpose. If you messed up, apologize and move on.
- Forget luck. Lucky people are those who are prepared, recognize opportunities and then act on those opportunities.
- Give up the constant need to be right. Pick your battles. Sometimes it just isn’t worth the fight. Besides, sometimes you’re wrong.
- Scope up. Pettiness is unattractive on all levels.
- Rise above the approval of others. You are never going to to make everyone happy anyway so stop trying.
- Forgive. You can’t be happy when you are full of anger and resentment. Get over it. Forgive them for your sake, not theirs.
- Get healthy and stay that way. It’s hard to be happy and sick at the same time.
- Stop looking for things outside yourself to make you happy. Happiness comes from within.
Based on an excerpt fromPeople Are Idiots And I Can Prove It.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Jun 1, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Question:
I know that my thoughts and emotions are a key ingredient in manifesting what I want in my life. That being said, I’m wondering if you know a strategy to keep myself at a high vibrational level? I find I get sucked down into the negative more than I’d like.
Answer:
The true key to joy and happiness is through gratitude. Sounds simple, yes? Just be grateful for everything, and you will live in a state of bliss. Easy…
Let me break it down for you a little more.
The key to joy and happiness is gratitude, BUT, the key to gratitude is to be a master of your thoughts and emotions.
Let me give you an example…
You are driving down the highway and someone is driving exceptionally slow in front of you. You are heading somewhere and really just want to get home from wherever you were.
Now, you have a choice of how to respond to this.
You can choose to be annoyed, irritated, and begin the self talk of, “Why does this always happen to me? Look at this idiot in front of me, someone needs to teach him to drive. I wish this jerk would get over so I can pass him!” At this point you’re not feeling very grateful for this experience. And you certainly aren’t filled with joy.
OR
You can choose to see this person in front of you as a gift. You can say to yourself, “Maybe I should slow down a bit. It is a beautiful day. Maybe this speed is a link in a chain of events geared toward helping me avoid an accident.” Now you’re feeling grateful and probably a little bit joyful as well.
The situation is the same in both scenarios, and you have the power to CHOOSE how you are going to respond to this experience. You have the power to choose to be joyful and happy.
This example can be replayed in ANY event in your life. You always have the power to choose your response. And your response is the key to your positive or negative experience.
THIS TAKES PRACTICE. And sometimes you may even need someone to remind you to stop and think about how you are reacting.
About the author: David Neagle\’s core mission is to bring expanded awareness and Wealth Consciousness to as many people as possible, and to find greater ways of helping entrepreneurs and corporate sales professionals create massive cash injections more rapidly so they can lead their greatest possible lives and serve the greatest number of people. Learn more .
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | May 29, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Many of us have been believing in a lie. We’ve bought into the myth that happiness is something we achieve when everything in our life finally looks the way we’ve been thinking it should. Cue the relationship, ring, job, country house, wardrobe, vacations, beauty products, weight loss. But here’s the challenge: These things alone don’t create lasting happiness, so happiness becomes this elusive thing that we desire but don’t know how to achieve.
The truth is that happiness is not circumstantial. And this is really good news. It means we don\’t have to wait for everything to be perfect, nor do we have to control anything outside of ourselves in order to feel a certain way. Becoming aware of this truth is a total game-changer, because it means we can choose happiness in this moment. And something beautiful happens when we do this: When we feel happy first, our outward experience begins to shift in ways we’d only dreamed of.
In this article, I’ll discuss how people can reset their attitude toward happiness and share three tips for cultivating happiness from the inside, out.
Searching for Happiness in all the Wrong Places
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we will be happy as soon as everything in our lives is exactly the way we want it to be—and that the solution to happiness is that we must keep working harder to control these external situations in order to make them “right.” But when we make things happen (lose the weight, get the relationship, get the raise) in a condition in which we are needing them to fill us up, validate us, or make us feel whole and complete, these changes won’t be sustainable. We might even realize these outward things don’t make us happy after all.
In reality, self-love is the baseline of happiness. When we live from a pure space of self-love, we are able to achieve sustainable happiness, because our internal feelings of abundance will reflect back to us in the form of beautiful relationships, purpose-driven work, and financial freedom. In short, self-love puts us on the fast track to healing. Our work is to clear out our fearful perceptions and shift them back to a loving perspective on life, which reveals our perfection and wholeness.
We don’t need to be fixed and nothing is wrong with us—these are just the stories we’ve been telling ourselves. When we let go of our limiting beliefs, we can finally experience freedom, happiness, and our highest potential.
Learning to Feel Happy Within
Here, I share three practical ways to cultivate more happiness within and create a life beyond your wildest dreams.
1. Connect with Yourself
Slow down and get quiet enough to listen to your inner guide (a.k.a your intuition or your truth), and spend less time listening to other people’s opinions or the loud, critical voice inside your own mind (which often manifests as racing thoughts or 3a.m. panic). One of the best practices for cultivating the ability to hear your inner guiding system is meditation. If finding the time to sit quietly is not realistic at the moment, an even simpler life-changing practice is to make daily mundane activities—such as brushing our teeth or standing in line at the grocery store—a time for quiet reflection. In these moments, ask for guidance and listen for some clear answers.
When we flex our spiritual muscle and connect with ourselves, it gives us access to an inner abundance of wisdom and knowledge (you’ll recognize it as a quiet, calm knowing voice). This inner source of wisdom will always guide us to our best right actions.
2. Set an Intention to Be Happy
Despite what we may have been taught, happiness is as simple as just choosing to be happy. When we truly realize this—that happiness is a choice—we instantly empower ourselves in any situation, whether it’s a relationship, job, or pattern of thinking that\’s been creating judgments, worry, doubt, fear, or confusion. The moment we choose to perceive things differently by choosing a loving perception of ourselves, others, and our circumstances, we not only strengthen our capacity to feel happy—we also open ourselves up to limitless possibilities where there once was seemingly no solution. A creative flow reveals itself, and we\’re able to experience more ease and less struggle sometimes instantly.
This is a lifelong practice, because when we\’re not monitoring our thoughts, they have a tendency of veering back into fear and worry. One of the simplest and most profound ways we can align with loving perceptions each day is to practice setting an intention every morning when we wake up. This intention can be very simple: Just say to yourself, I choose happiness—and feel it.
3. Surrender
Most of us don\’t know what “surrender” means. It\’s the opposite of the way many of us operate, which is by attempting to control outcomes and situations and to make things happen. In contrast, surrender occurs when we release our need to control things, and instead choose to place a higher level of trust and faith in the process of life.
When we tap into this relaxed energy, we allow that which we desire to flow to us in a miraculous way. The job, relationship, or whatever we are envisioning and desiring for our lives is all on its way—and when we surrender our plans for the timeline and the form in which we think it should arrive, we allow an even bigger and better outcome to take place. When we are not fearfully boxing ourselves in, we are able to fearlessly say YES to limitless opportunities for joy to enter our lives.
Being Happy—The Takeaway
By connecting with ourselves, setting intentions to be happy, and surrendering to the natural flow of life, we can breathe a sigh of relief, trusting and knowing that everything is unfolding in perfect, divine timing—and the only work we need to do is to get out of our own way and let life happen. Because happiness is our birthright.
Jennifer Kass is a holistic happiness coach and spiritual mentor. She is a writer and speaker and works in her one-on-one coaching programs. The views expressed herein are hers and hers alone. To learn more about Jennifer, visit .
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | May 20, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
I work with clients a lot of time on their core wounds. Because when people are more aware of these wounds they are better able to create the lives that they really want. However, when you are smart, (like my clients always are) it is that much harder to see where your deepest resistance is because you can so often convince others that it is not where they are seeing it.
We develop our entire lives–our work, our relationships– in ways that stop us from knowing this tender part of ourselves that we are protecting with our very deep resistance.
Then when a part of our life stops working, when we are faced with ourselves in the form of another person or situation, we fight to keep the protection in place.
Those of us that have done a lot of personal development work might have sophisticated ways to protect ourselves. Those who have not done this kind of work will have a little less tact but in the end we are all doing the same thing.
We are protecting this precious and tender part of ourselves. A part that was at one point not cared for in the way it could have been cared for.
I wish I had a “solution” to this particular aspect of the human experience but I don’t. And really, that is not what it is about. This deepest resistance of ours is our ally in helping us unfold our lives. The challenges it creates are exactly where we need to keep looking to become our deepest and fullest selves.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | May 15, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
I generally start my workshops and seminars by asking a fundamental question: What attitude did you bring into this meeting? Often, this brings puzzled looks. In truth, people generally don’t have a high level of attitude awareness. They’ll know if they are hungry or if their feet hurt, but they usually don’t have a good handle on their attitude. That is a mistake because attitude is everything. It governs the way you perceive the world and the way the world perceives you.
We all have a choice. We can choose an inner dialogue of self-encouragement and self-motivation, or we can choose one of self-defeat and self-pity. It’s a power we all have. Each of us encounters hard times, hurt feelings, heartache, and physical and emotional pain. The key is to realize it’s not what happens to you that matters; it’s how you choose to respond.
Your mind is a computer that can be programmed. You can choose whether the software installed is productive or unproductive. Your inner dialogue is the software that programs your attitude, which determines how you present yourself to the world around you. You have control over the programming. Whatever you put into it is reflected in what comes out.
Many of us have behavior patterns today that were programmed into our brains at a very tender age. The information that was recorded by our brains could have been completely inaccurate or cruel. The sad reality of life is that we will continue to hear negative information, but we don’t have to program it into our brains.
The loudest and most influential voice you hear is your own inner voice, your selfcritic. It can work for or against you, depending on the messages you allow. It can be optimistic or pessimistic. It can wear you down or cheer you on. You control the sender and the receiver, but only if you consciously take responsibility for and control over your inner conversation.
Habitual bad attitudes are often the product of past experiences and events. Common causes include low self-esteem, stress, fear, resentment, anger and an inability to handle change. It takes serious work to examine the roots of a harmful attitude, but the rewards of ridding ourselves of this heavy baggage can last a lifetime.
Here are 10 strategies from my attitude tool kit to improve your attitude:
- Self-Coaching Through Affirmations Affirmations repeated several times each day, every day, serve to reprogram your subconscious with positive thinking. An affirmation is made up of words charged with power, conviction and faith. You send a positive response to your subconscious, which accepts whatever you tell it. When done properly, this triggers positive feelings that, in turn, drive action.
- Self-Motivation Through Discovering Your Motives Discover what motivates you—what incites you to take action to change your life. Basic motives include love, self-preservation, anger, financial gain and fear. Self-motivation requires enthusiasm, a positive outlook, a positive physiology (walk faster, smile, sit up), and a belief in yourself and your God-given potential.
- The Power of Visualization Studies of the psychology of peak performance have found that most great athletes, surgeons, engineers and artists use affirmations and visualizations either consciously or subconsciously to enhance and focus their skills. Nelson Mandela has written extensively on how visualization helped him maintain a positive attitude while being imprisoned for 27 years. “I thought continually of the day when I would walk free. I fantasized about what I would like to do,” he wrote in his autobiography. Visualization works well to improve attitude.
- Attitude Talk for Positive Internal Dialogue Attitude talk is a way to override your past negative programming by erasing or replacing it with a conscious, positive internal voice that helps you face new directions. Your internal conversation—that little voice you listen to all day long—acts like a seed in that it programs your brain and affects your behavior. Take a closer look at what you are saying to yourself.
- The Power of Words Once released to the universe, our words cannot be taken back. Learn the concept of WOW—watch our words. What we speak reflects what is already in our hearts based upon all the things we have come to believe about ourselves. If we find ourselves speaking judgmental and disparaging things about our circumstances or those around us, we know the condition of our hearts needs to change. You can create a direct path to success by what you say.
- The Power in a Positive Greeting When people ask me how I am doing, I say, “Super-fantastic.” Most people enjoy working and living with others who try to live life for what it is—a beautiful gift.
- Enthusiasm: Vital Tool for Staying Motivated Enthusiasm is to attitude what breathing is to life. Enthusiasm enables you to apply your gifts more effectively. It’s the burning desire that communicates commitment, determination and spirit. Enthusiasm means putting yourself in motion. It’s an internal spirit that speaks through your actions from your commitment and your belief in what you are doing. It is one of the most empowering and attractive characteristics you can have.
- Connecting to Your Spiritual Empowerment The ultimate level of human need extends into the spiritual realm. Just as we feed our bodies in response to our primary need to survive physically, we need to feed our spirit because we are spiritual beings. Many people find powerful and positive motivation in their faith. I happen to be one of them.
- Lighten Up Your Life with Humor Humor is a powerful motivator. The more humor and laughter in your life, the less stress you’ll have, which means more positive energy to help you put your attitude into action. There are also health benefits to lightening up.
- Exercising Will Help Keep You Motivated One of the best ways to move to a more positive and motivated frame of mind is to exercise. A regular exercise routine can provide relatively quick positive feedback in the form of weight loss, muscle development and a sense of doing something positive for yourself.
Seek your personal and professional success by using the tools in this attitude tool kit. It is no secret that life seems to reward us most when we approach the world with a positive attitude.
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