by Dr. Heléna Kate | Aug 20, 2013 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Low self-esteem can negatively affect virtually every facet of your life, including your relationships, your job and your health. But you can take steps to boost your self-esteem, even if you\’ve been harboring a poor opinion of yourself since childhood. Start with these four steps.
Step 1: Identify troubling conditions or situations
Think about the conditions or situations that seem to deflate your self-esteem. Common triggers might include:
A business presentation
A crisis at work or home
A challenge with a spouse, loved one, co-worker or other close contact
A change in life circumstances, such as a job loss or a child leaving home
Step 2: Become aware of thoughts and beliefs
Once you\’ve identified troubling conditions or situations, pay attention to your thoughts about them. This includes your self-talk — what you tell yourself — and your interpretation of what the situation means. Your thoughts and beliefs might be positive, negative or neutral. They might be rational, based on reason or facts, or irrational, based on false ideas.
Step 3: Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking
Your initial thoughts might not be the only possible way to view a situation — so test the accuracy of your thoughts. Ask yourself whether your view is consistent with facts and logic or whether other explanations for the situation might be plausible.
Be aware that it\’s sometimes tough to recognize inaccuracies in thinking, though. Most people have automatic, long-standing ways of thinking about their lives and themselves. These long-held thoughts and beliefs can feel normal and factual, but many are actually just opinions or perceptions.
Also pay attention to thought patterns that tend to erode self-esteem:
All-or-nothing thinking. You see things as either all good or all bad. For example, \”If I don\’t succeed in this task, I\’m a total failure.\”
Mental filtering. You see only negatives and dwell on them, distorting your view of a person or situation. For example, \”I made a mistake on that report and now everyone will realize I\’m not up to this job.\”
Converting positives into negatives. You reject your achievements and other positive experiences by insisting that they don\’t count. For example, \”I only did well on that test because it was so easy.\”
Jumping to negative conclusions. You reach a negative conclusion when little or no evidence supports it. For example, \”My friend hasn\’t replied to my email, so I must have done something to make her angry.\”
Mistaking feelings for facts. You confuse feelings or beliefs with facts. For example, \”I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure.\”
Self put-downs. You undervalue yourself, put yourself down or use self-deprecating humor. This can result from overreacting to a situation, such as making a mistake. For example, \”I don\’t deserve anything better.\”
Step 4: Adjust your thoughts and beliefs
Now replace negative or inaccurate thoughts with accurate, constructive thoughts. Try these strategies:
Use hopeful statements. Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement. Pessimism can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, if you think your presentation isn\’t going to go well, you might indeed stumble through it. Try telling yourself things such as, \”Even though it\’s tough, I can handle this situation.\”
Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes — and mistakes aren\’t permanent reflections on you as a person. They\’re isolated moments in time. Tell yourself, \”I made a mistake, but that doesn\’t make me a bad person.\”
Avoid \’should\’ and \’must\’ statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of these words, you might be putting unreasonable demands on yourself — or on others. Removing these words from your thoughts can lead to more realistic expectations.
Focus on the positive. Think about the good parts of your life. Remind yourself of things that have gone well recently. Consider the skills you\’ve used to cope with challenging situations.
Relabel upsetting thoughts. You don\’t need to react negatively to negative thoughts. Instead, think of negative thoughts as signals to try new, healthy patterns. Ask yourself, \”What can I think and do to make this less stressful?\”
Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes. For example, \”My presentation might not have been perfect, but my colleagues asked questions and remained engaged — which means that I accomplished my goal.\”
These steps might seem awkward at first, but they\’ll get easier with practice. As you begin to recognize the thoughts and beliefs that are contributing to your low self-esteem, you can actively counter them — which will help you accept your value as a person. As your self-esteem increases, your confidence and sense of well-being are likely to soar.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Aug 18, 2013 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
I was talking to someone the other day who was making some comments about my business — specifically my marketing. She said, “I can’t relate to this — it’s too polished.”
I know there is a certain group of people — I actually put myself in that group sometimes — who are so tired of the pomp and circumstance. Whenever they see something that looks like “one more empty person trying to sell them something” they recoil. They are done.
Well, I could write a book about this. But what I am going to say here is what I said to her. If you have hundreds of thousands of dollars to put toward what you think is most important in the world; if you had a platform to reach thousands of people and help them live better lives; if you could create a voice that could be heard by the masses that speaks for change — but it required you to wear earrings and make-up and get a fancy picture taken — would you do it?
My answer is, “Yes.” I would probably eat worms, too. Because these things do not change me or what I am about. My clothes do not define me. That is WAY too shallow. That problem is in the eye of the beholder. I can dress as counter-culture as I want and sit in cafés drinking coffee and talking about how the world sold out — or I can suit up and do something about it. And, THAT is what I am doing — something about it.
What are you going to do?
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Aug 15, 2013 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
When I first left my parents’ small farm at eighteen to move to “the city” for college, I was part terrified, part excited, and completely outside my comfort zone. As I found then, and have countless times in the years since, no worthwhile aspiration can be accomplished from within our comfort zone. Only in giving up the security of the known can we create new opportunity, build capability, and grow influence. As we do, we expand the perimeter of our ‘Courage Zone’ and our confidence to take on bigger challenges in the future.
It’s a lesson that was reinforced in my interviews with accomplished leaders across a diverse range of fields while researching my latest book Stop Playing Safe. While each had forged their own path to success – either up an organizational ladder or as an entrepreneur – the common thread of wisdom they all shared was that in todays competitive and fast changing workplace, we can never hope to achieve success unless we’re willing to embrace change and risk the discomfort of failure. In short, we must be willing to get comfortable with the discomfort involved with taking risks.
One of those leaders was Lori Garver, who worked her way up in the male-dominated aerospace industry from an administrative assistant role to the Deputy Director of NASA. Like so many other successful people, Lori has always been driven more by what inspires her than what scares her. She’s always been willing to challenge assumptions, and push the boundaries of possibility. She’s never let her fear of not having what it takes keep her from stepping beyond the confines of her comfort zone and expanding her confidence to take risks, try new things, speak up and act with the courage that has been a hallmark of her leadership at NASA. While it’s easy to assume that Lori is covered with psychological Teflon, the reality is that along her road to success, she experienced numerous setbacks, along with her fair share of criticism. She just hasn’t let her fear of it hold her back.
Throughout our careers we must continually assess whether we are letting our fear of failure or losing face keep us from taking the actions, and engaging in the conversations, that will move us forward and make the impact we want. Again and again, we have to decide:
Do I keep doing what’s always been done, or challenge old assumptions ad try new approaches to problems?
Do I proactively seek new challenges or just manage those I already have?
Do I risk being exposed and vulnerable, or act to protect my pride and patch of power?
Do I ask for what I really want, or just for what I think others want to give me?
Do I ‘toot my horn’ to ensure others know what I’m capable of, or just hope my efforts will be noticed?
Do I speak my mind or bite my lip, lest I ruffle feathers or subject myself to criticism?
Of course, being willing to take a risk doesn’t mean everything you try will work out. But as every successful person will tell you, it’s only by being willing to make mistakes and try something new that you can ever accomplish more than what’s been done before. As John F. Kennedy once said, “Nothing worthwhile has ever been accomplished with a guarantee of success.” Nothing ever will be.
Too often we let our mistakes and setbacks define us. Yet, as Dr Martin Seligman, the founder of Positive Psychology once said, “It’s not our failures that determine our future success, but how we explain them to ourselves.” Likewise, if you knew that no matter what happened, you could handle it, what actions would you take that you aren’t taking now? What conversations would you engage in that you’ve been putting off? Where would you step out onto center stage more fully and boldly in your own life – and in doing so, open up the possibility for new opportunities, new relationships, new alliances, new ideas to take bloom?
Cast your mind ahead ten years from now and think about the life you want to be living then. What do you want to be doing? With whom? Who do you want to have become in the process?
Ten years from now there will be people who have achieved extraordinary success. While we don’t know who they will be, one thing is sure – they won’t be people who have stayed inside their comfort zone. Rather, they will be people who have continued to stretch themselves, even when things are going smoothly, and who have been willing to risk failure or looking foolish, knowing that the biggest risk they take is not taking any risks at all. The question is – will you be one of them?!
In our ever more cautious and competitive world, there is little security in playing safe. Being willing to give up the familiarity of the known and embrace the discomfort that comes from being outside your comfort zone is increasingly crucial to your success in work and life.
Margie Warrell is an executive coach, keynote speaker and the bestselling author of Stop Playing Safe (Wiley) and Find Your Courage (McGraw-Hill). More information at www.margiewarrell.com
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Aug 12, 2013 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
1. Get Moving: Exercise has been proven to elevate mood.
2. Talk to someone: When things go wrong, people tend to isolate. Telling someone about your difficulties provides you with connection which is ultimately healing.
However, do not dwell too long in the negative. Excessively repeating a negative story can actually prolong a bad mood and make it difficult to move forward.
3. Reframe the situation: There is usually something positive to be gleaned even from the worst of situation. Can you find the silver lining? Learning to reframe situations is a powerful coping strategy used by successful and confident people.
4. Plan your future steps: Things might not be good now but they do not need to stay that way. What are ways that you can build a better tomorrow? Imagine yourself doing these things. The imagination plays a powerful role in shaping our lives and our feelings about yourself.
5. Take an inventory of what IS working: Even if a lot has gone wrong chances are there are a few things that are still right. What are the things that are the things you can be grateful for? Write a list of everything you are grateful for each day. Read it again in the morning when you wake up.
6. Positive self-talk: When we continually repeat statements such as, \”It will never work out.\” or \”I am such a failure.\” These beliefs are the reality that we live with. Make a list of your negative beliefs and write a second list of positive –yet believable– beliefs. Try replacing your negative beliefs with your positive beliefs as you go about your day.
7. Give yourself specific times to worry: A cognitive-behavioral technique is to quarantine the time that you give to your negative mood. For example, for 30 minutes each day I will ruminate about what has gone wrong. After that, I will stop and focus on other things.
8. Throw a fit: Is it so bad that you can\’t imagine trying to find the good in it all. Take a few moments to jump up and down, scream, or hit something. Of course keep yours and other peoples safety in mind when you are doing this. You might feel a bit silly at first but you will feel much better as a result of giving yourself this time.
9. Focus on something else: If you find yourself dwelling in the negative, start distracting yourself. While it is important to feel your feelings, being stuck in negativity is not good for you. Find something else to occupy your attention and give yourself a break.
10. Do something you are good at: Mastery provides us will feeling of confidence, competence, and well-being. When you have experienced a set back, doing something you feel good helps you feel better.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Aug 9, 2013 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Ever had that experience, where you are in a group of people, possibly those you consider as friends and join in the conversation, only to find someone changes the subject or talks over you?
Ever had the experience of instinctively knowing a plan, solution or process that would enhance your business, team or company only to find your suggestions/comments ignored?
Ever had the experiences of being told what to think, do or say?
How often have you had that feeling inside that the ‘Super Hero’ in you was trying to burst out? Maybe it was that feeling, deep down, of the freedom to spread your wings, expressing your individuality on seeing or hearing your favorite singer/actor/artist perform?
Then you come back from your lunchtime daydream or wake up at the start of yet another work day…into your current reality of invisibility. The frustration of knowing you are capable of so much more than your current life holds, yet having no idea of how to change it or how to become visible to the world, can be overwhelming.
I know…been there…done that!
It took me decades of being invisible to finally find how to make the changes and the secret key turned out to be inside me all the time. After spending years and years suffering other people’s insults, abuse, derision and control, I had the biggest challenge in accepting to myself I created all those experiences and I was the one keeping myself invisible!
Let me explain what happens energetically and scientifically, to make it so you create your own experiences and invisibility cloaks, as each of these are examples of allowing yourself to be invisible. Yes, I did say allowing, let me explain the science behind this:
You project out the holographic perception of your beliefs, which energetically transmute into experiences and opportunities. This is a scientifically verified FACT.
Your cells take their signal from your beliefs, this triggers electrical impulses to the Frontal Lobe in the brain, from there to the Thalamus, your processing center and where the by product of thought is created. From here signals will go to the Occipital Lobe, your visual center and your Peritoneal Lobe , it is this that is the crucial part of the process. The peritoneal lobe projects the holographic perception of your reality…from the power of your belief.
Therefore your external experiences are a reflection of your point of belief. Getting the picture?
OK, so why do you do this? Where does it begin?
When you hold low self worth, don’t value yourself or find it hard to love who you are; this is what you project into the external world. This through the transmutation of energy create your external experiences. So you really do allow situations to happen.
More often than not, the low self worth is also a reflection of you feeling invisible to yourself. When you are invisible to yourself , you mirror this in your external world and become invisible to others.
Are you getting a sense of how you create this now?
Through my own work with clients, working back on where the feelings of being invisible come from, can more often then not, be traced through generations.
Negative emotional memories are passed from mother to child at cellular level.
We hold these in and around the cells, which is the reason why, even with the best will in the world to be positive, it only takes a small, negative incident to move you back into feeling negative, as it is still held at cellular level and until you accept and acknowledge this, only then can it be energetically released.
It is crucially important to begin understanding the power you hold inside and how this dictates your external world. Once you can accept this, you then have the ability to clear out the internal baggage and begin consciously creating your external world through changing your beliefs.
This process begins through observance, contemplation and meditation.
This can start with simply getting out in nature and allowing yourself to be still to get ‘tuned in’. Nature is naturally abundant and will always help in the energetic process.
Other than this, begin the regular practice of me time, time to go into contemplation and meditation; this time will allow you to identify where your low self worth, the invisibility comes from.
To be ‘seen’ in your external experiences you have to first be visible to yourself and this takes finding the strength in your vulnerability to admit and acknowledge your fears and release them.
reblogged from http://consciouslifenews.com
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Aug 6, 2013 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
\”Recognize that the very molecules that make up your body, the atoms that construct the molecules, are traceable to the crucibles that were once the centers of high mass stars that exploded their chemically rich guts into the galaxy, enriching pristine gas clouds with the chemistry of life. So that we are all connected to each other biologically, to the earth chemically and to the rest of the universe atomically. That’s kind of cool! That makes me smile and I actually feel quite large at the end of that. It’s not that we are better than the universe; we are part of the universe. We are in the universe and the universe is in us.\”
— Neil deGrasse Tyson. Astrophysicist, Director Hayden Planetarium, NYC.
by Dr. Heléna Kate | Jul 11, 2013 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
One of my favorite topics within cognitive science is the concept of heuristics. Heuristics are the quick, commonsense principles we apply to solve a problem or make a decision.
Often, heuristics are very helpful rules of thumb, but they can also lead us to make dumb mistakes. Recognizing how heuristics operate can sometimes make it easier to be wary of the pitfalls.
Here are some common heuristics:
Recognition heuristic: if you’re faced with two items, and you recognize one but not the other, you assume that the recognized one is of higher value. If you’ve heard of Munich, Germany, but you’ve never heard of Minden, Germany, you assume that Munich is the bigger city. If you’ve heard of A Wrinkle in Time, but you haven’t heard of The Silver Crown, you assume that the first book is better than the second. When in fact they’re both outstanding children’s books!
Likelihood heuristic: you predict the likelihood of an event based on how easily you can think of an example. How worried should you be about child abduction by a stranger? What’s riskier, donating a kidney or having your gallbladder removed?
Anchor and adjust heuristic: you base an answer too heavily on some piece of first information. If someone says, “How old is Woody Allen? Twenty-five?” you’d probably guess his age to be younger than you would if someone said, “How old is Woody Allen? Ninety-five?” even though you know that both suggestions are incorrect.
Social proof: if you’re not sure about something, you assume that you should be guided by what other people are doing. You’re wondering whether to sign up for my monthly newsletter, which features highlights from the blog and Facebook. You’re not sure, but when I say, “157,000 people subscribe to it,” you think, “Yes, I do want to sign up!” You can sign up here. (End of blatant self-promotion.)
Fluency heuristic: if it’s easier to say or think something, it seems more valuable. For instance, an idea that’s expressed in a rhyming phrase seems more convincing than the same idea paraphrased in a non-rhyming phrase. When I decided to spend some time every weekend crossing long-delayed, horrible items off my to-do list, I considered calling that time my To-Do List Time, but then switched the name to Power Hour. Much more compelling.
How about you? Do you have any examples of how you’ve used these heuristics, or other heuristics that you employ?
reblogged from Gretchen Rubin\’s site www.happiness-project.com/
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Jul 8, 2013 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
There’s something to be said for slow and steady progress. But there’s also something to be said for strong, decisive, sweeping action. When it comes to bad, self-defeating habits, there’s no time like today to quit cold turkey. For some reason I’ve been more aware lately of the annoying social habits of other people. Worse than that, I’ve then been noticing many of the same behaviors in myself. Cutting out these negative habits makes it simpler to foster good relationships by getting to the heart of productive communication, so why not start today?
1. Seeking attention by complaining.
I spoke to someone yesterday who all but refused to talk about the positive aspects of their life. After listening to their troubles, I asked about some of the cool projects they have going on. Within two sentences, they were back to complaining about trivial things. We all need to share our troubles with friends or strangers from time to time, but don’t fall into the habit of turning conversations into your own personal dumping ground 100 percent of the time. It’s an easy way to get attention, but it’s a poor way to keep it; and it’s a poor way to view your life.
2. Focusing on your inner monologue instead of the dialogue in front of you.
“Holy crap! That’s a great idea. Wow. What can I say that will sound smart and clever? I really hope they think I’m intelligent. I could touch on symbolism or make a reference to post-modernism. Wait – what did they just ask me?” Stay focused on the other person’s words and points. People rarely mind when you say, “Hmm. Let me think about that for a second.” Quite the opposite, since it shows that you’re taking the conversation seriously. If you compose your answers while someone else is speaking, you’re really only having half a conversation.
3. Multi-tasking while you chat.
Even if you are a professional multi-tasker, if you’re talking to someone, talk to them, and that’s it. Don’t browse online, don’t watch TV, don’t update your to-do list, and please, don’t eat while you’re on the phone. Whether they say so or not, it really annoys the person you’re talking to. If you really don’t have the time to talk, be honest and find another time, or cut it short.
4. Not paying attention to the people you care about most.
Pretending to listen while your mind wanders to your work day, etc. Do you really think your loved ones can’t tell? They can. And even more importantly, they need you to listen sincerely and thoughtfully. There is no greater gift of love and no greater expression of caring that you can offer the special people in your life, than your undivided time and attention. You need to remember that ‘love’ is listening, and everyone wants to be heard.
5. Constantly fishing for compliments.
“Oh, I look terrible today.” – after someone compliments you. “I just threw it together at the last minute.” – when you obviously dressed up. “I’m really not good at things like this.” – when the people you’re with know you are. Please. Stop. It’s not flattering.
6. De-emphasizing compliments with self-effacing remarks.
It’s okay to say “thank you” when you’re complimented. By making a self-effacing comment, you nearly force the other person to repeat their compliment, which is not a gracious thing to do. Acknowledging a compliment isn’t snobby – like you’re admitting that you think you’re just grand – it’s a simple courtesy. Besides, you earned it. Saying “thank you” not only makes the other person feel good, it’s a healthy reminder that you’re responsible for some really good things in your life.
7. Cutting people off mid-sentence.
The only time this is okay is when you’re in an intense brainstorming session. Or you’ve got an urgent situation to attend to. Or you haven’t seen your best friend in months. Okay, so this habit is kind of elastic, but you get the gist. Most of the time, interrupting just means that you’re missing the best parts of the conversation. Plus, you’re showing your chat partner that you value your own thoughts over theirs.
8. An unsupportive attitude.
The greatest compliment you can give to someone is to believe in them and let them know you care. When you see something true, good and beautiful in someone, don’t hesitate to express your appreciation. When you see something that is not true, good and beautiful in someone, don’t neglect to give them your wholehearted blessings and best wishes.
9. Trying to please everyone.
This one is about keeping your sanity. No matter how loud their opinions are, others cannot choose who you are. The question should not be, “Why don’t they like me when I’m being me?” it should be, “Why am I wasting all my time and energy worrying what they think of me?” If you are not hurting anyone with your actions, keep moving forward with your life. Be happy. Be yourself. If others don’t like it, let them be. Life isn’t about pleasing everybody.
reblogged from www.marcandangel.com
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Jul 5, 2013 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
The power of positive thinking.
How many times have you heard that phrase thrown around? It’s so much a part of our vernacular now that it’s almost become meaningless. We’d all agree that thinking positively is a good thing. Especially when we’re feeling positive. When you’re feeling good, how much trouble is it to think, “Hey, I like me. My life is cool. Things are going great.”
But what about when things are crappy? What about those days when you’re so stressed the veins pop out of your forehead? When you hate your job — or you’ve lost it? What about those days when you are sucker-punched by a series of unfortunate events that makes the life of Job look like a garden party?
I’ve met people who remain perky during really bad times. And to be honest, they make me want to slap them around a bit. That Pollyanna, “life is still beautiful” attitude when things are falling apart just yanks my chain. However, I’ve come to learn that these people know something I don’t.
Here’s the secret that’s not really a secret. It’s revolutionary, exciting science.
Positive thinking really does change your brain. Not in some magical, woo woo kind of way, but in a real physical way.
The science is called neuroplasticity. It means that our thoughts can change the structure and function of our brains. The idea was first introduced by William James in 1890, but it was soundly rejected by scientists who uniformly believed the brain is rigidly mapped out, with certain parts of the brain controlling certain functions. If that part is dead or damaged, the function is altered or lost. Well, it appears they were wrong.
Neuroplasticity now enjoys wide acceptance as scientists are proving the brain is endlessly adaptable and dynamic.
It has the power to change its own structure, even for those with the severe neurological afflictions. People with problems like strokes, cerebral palsy, and mental illness can train other areas of their brains through repetitive mental and physical activities. It is completely life-altering.
So what does this have to do with positive thinking and with you?
It means that repetitive positive thought and positive activity can rewire your brain and strengthen brain areas that stimulate positive feelings.
In \”The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science\”, Norman Doidge M.D. states plainly that the brain has the capacity to rewire itself and/or form new neural pathways — if we do the work. Just like exercise, the work requires repetition and activity to reinforce new learning.
Here are some actions you can take to change your own brain during the bad times.
Fear of failure.
Everyone fears doing something new because we don’t wait to fail. The truth is, we can do most anything if we take action, stop negative thinking, and shift our perceptions of the truth about our abilities.
Action steps: Force yourself to stop thinking about reasons you can’t do something, even if you don’t feel brave or capable. Every time a negative thought creeps in, retrain your brain to think a positive thought about your abilities instead. Then take small actions every day toward achieving your goal or desired change. Nike’s slogan, “Just do it,” has real validity.
Over-thinking/Worrying
Have you ever found yourself trapped in obsessive over-thinking about a problem or in a state of anxiety or worry that lasts for days or even weeks? It drains your energy, affects your sleep, and spirals your mood and outlook on life. Focusing on your problem only strengthens the worry function in your brain.
Action steps: When you find yourself in that cycle of worry or compulsive thinking, remember the three R’s — rename, re-frame, and redirect. When the worry begins, mentally yell “Stop!” Rename the issue by reminding yourself that worry isn’t real. Rename it as a compulsive reaction, not reality. Re-frame your thinking by focusing on positive or distracting thoughts, even if you still feel anxious. Force yourself to think different thoughts. Redirect your actions. Go do something uplifting, fun or mentally engaging. The key is following these steps repeatedly, every time you worry obsessively, to break the pattern and rewire your brain.
Mood Disorders/Phobias
Sometimes we might feel blue or out-of-sorts, and it’s just a temporary fog that settles in and lifts after a few days. Some mood disorders, like depression or serious anxieties that morph into phobias, can be debilitating and unrelenting. Psychologists and therapists have used treatments based on neuroplasticity to get to the cognitive root of these disorders and put a patient’s life back on track.
Action steps: A serious mood disorder or phobia requires the help of a trained counselor. Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is a type of treatment that helps people learn how to identify and change destructive thought patterns that have a negative influence on behavior and feelings. If you suffer from severe anxiety or depression, you need someone skilled to help you get to the root of these thoughts and to show you how to change them. Ask them about CBT.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Jul 3, 2013 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Here is the last of my \”Dirty Little Success Secrets\”! Thanks to the many who wrote me personally to say that you enjoyed these posts. I always love hearing your feedback!
Dirty Little Success Secret #6 – No Such Thing As A Happy Pill
I don’t like to talk about the fact that I have struggled with depression because there is so much stigma around it. People on one level still believe that you can just pull yourself out of a depression. I have definitely felt that way in the past, given myself a hard time for not being able to just shrug off its effects. But the fact is that depression is an illness and just like many other illnesses some of us are born with it built into our genes.
I teach about fulfillment. Is it could be easy to judge me for being on an antidepressant. Maybe I am just as positive as I am because I am drugged? I am sure someone reading this believes that. This is a majorly misinformed opinion but one I face regularly.
How has depression helped me be more successful? Depression is not who I am. It is a part of my experience. When I talk about healing yourself, I am not talking from a textbook. I am talking from experience. Each person needs something different to heal. No pill will fix you. It is much more complex than that. But the best guide knows the land. Depression like the other challenges I have faced in my life helps me be able to help others in a profound way.
Your difficulties become your greatest assets. Whatever you are struggling with – today, in this very moment – has the potential to be what brings your life the most depth, strength and character. What is vital is getting the outside support that helps manifest your transformation.
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