Years ago, when Brené Brown shared her research on vulnerability, she didn’t just give a TED Talk—she cracked open a collective blind spot. In her now-famous words, she confessed that she didn’t believe she was “supposed to” feel vulnerable. But what she discovered was that her resistance to vulnerability was closing her off from the most meaningful parts of life—namely, intimacy and connection.

I’m deeply grateful for her work. She helped normalize what so many of us feel but rarely speak: the fear of being seen. Truly seen. And the undeniable cost of hiding from that fear.

But here’s what we often miss: vulnerability is not passive. It is an active, embodied discipline. Especially in moments when we feel unsafe, threatened, or misunderstood. It demands that we pause, set aside our pride, and open ourselves to a deeper truth—the one that lives beneath our reactive defenses.

Let me paint a picture you might recognize.

I’m in a conversation. Something shifts, and suddenly I feel myself armoring up. My body tightens. My mind races. I feel misjudged or unseen. And even though I know better, every part of me wants to protect instead of connect.

Sound familiar?

There’s an automatic quality to this response—it happens fast. But when I can pause long enough to feel the contraction, to breathe into it and not run from it, I remember: this moment is not asking me to be right. It’s asking me to be real.

So I drop the story. I let go of the pride. I soften. And when I do, my heart opens. My words land more gently. Now, something new can happen. Now, we can build something honest.

Here’s a step-by-step breakdown of how to work with your emotional triggers and move into vulnerability instead of reactivity:

1. Recognize that you’re triggered. Feel the body. Notice the story.
2. Stay present. Do your best not to escalate or project.
3. Remove yourself if necessary. Step out to reset your system.
4. Let off steam—consciously. Journal, move, speak your feelings without making them the truth.
5. Name the root. What’s the deeper fear or unmet need? (Hint: It’s rarely about the current situation.)
6. Give yourself compassion. This is vital. Again and again.
7. Name the blame, victimhood, or denial—then choose to release it.
8. Return to what you really want in this relationship or situation.
9. Approach the other person from that deeper desire.

Here’s why vulnerability is essential—not just nice to have.

1. Without vulnerability, there is no intimacy. You cannot build real, enduring relationships if you’re constantly protecting yourself from being hurt.
2. Without vulnerability, life becomes a performance. We’re stuck in the exhausting cycle of pretending to be untouchable. And over time, it makes us deeply unhappy.

True fulfillment comes from being known and being seen. And that only happens when we allow ourselves to show up as we are.

If you want to experience emotional healing, build authentic connections, and live from greater self-awareness, vulnerability is the path.

It’s not always easy—but it’s always worth it.

✨ Want to explore how to use vulnerability to transform your relationships? Tune into this week’s episode of Real Answers Radio, where we’re talking about how to bring more meaning and magic into your connections through courageous openness. The show is live and your questions are always welcome.

Let’s be honest: no one lives in a permanent state of bliss. Can you imagine being euphorically happy all the time? Eventually, even joy would lose its meaning.

Life isn’t static—it’s a cycle of expansion and contraction, satisfaction and challenge. Even when one area of your life feels deeply fulfilling, another may be quietly calling for attention. That’s not a problem. That’s being human.

The key is staying attuned. When we ignore what’s shifting beneath the surface—our discomfort, our dissatisfaction, our unmet needs—we lose connection to ourselves. Over time, that disconnection can spiral into numbness, burnout, or deep unhappiness.

But a few intentional practices can bring us back to center. Here are three simple yet powerful ways to reconnect with yourself and reawaken your energy and joy:

1. Claim 100% Responsibility for Your Life

At first glance, this might sound harsh. But taking full responsibility isn’t about blame—it’s about empowerment.

When we hand our power over to circumstances or other people, we become stuck in waiting. Waiting for things to change. Waiting to be rescued. Waiting to feel better.

But when you take ownership of your experience, you become the creator of your own life. You reclaim the freedom to choose differently. And that, in itself, brings more peace, clarity, and confidence.

2. Tend to What’s Not Working

That warning light on your dashboard? It matters.

When something feels off—emotionally, physically, spiritually—don’t dismiss it. Ignoring the signs might get you through today, but it sets you up for breakdown tomorrow.

Take the time to look honestly at what’s not working in your life. It could be a draining relationship, a habit that’s no longer serving you, or simply a part of yourself that’s been neglected.

Tending to these places—without shame or judgment—is an act of deep self-respect.

3. Practice Kindness (Especially Toward Yourself)

Kindness is a ripple. It changes the energy in a room, a relationship, a life.

The smile you offer a stranger. The patience you show in a long line. The soft voice you use with yourself when you’re tired or overwhelmed.

Every small act of kindness softens the edges of the world—and your inner world, too. Being gentle with yourself in difficult moments isn’t indulgent—it’s healing.

You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to feel blissful every second. You just need to stay in loving relationship with your life as it unfolds.

These three practices—responsibility, awareness, and kindness—are simple touchpoints that keep you anchored and awake. Use them often. Let them return you to your heart. And from there, keep choosing the life you want to live.