Some people will promise you the world. They tell you that, if you just get their program or learn to be more positive, then you will be able to grow your business, be fulfilled, or what have you.

But they haven’t given you the whole picture. WHO you are on the inside is just as important as what you “know” and “believe.” That is what my work is all about.

While I don’t have a magic bullet (except for the blender) I do have something that has been working for millennia to help people live richer and more fulfilling lives. Awareness.

We have learned so much in our lives. And when we have not learned something, we use whatever information might be close to right to solve the problem at hand. When it comes to emotional issues we can forget what we have learned and when we learned it. Sometimes we can even completely lose sight of what we are feeling. Whether we are aware of it or not, though, these emotions — and sometimes the avoidance of them — play out in our daily lives.

Knowing what we are feeling and why we are feeling it are aspects of our emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is our ability to regulate, assess, and identify the emotions of our self and others. When we are unable to do this, we wind up with a whole host of problems. Most people have not learned to be emotionally intelligent. It is not taught in most schools, in most homes, or even in most coaching training programs. Without being aware of what we are feeling and why we are feeling it, we are doomed to failure. Even if our work is a success in terms of money, our lives will not be at all fulfilling.

So, what can you do about it?

You can take a moment to pay attention to what is going on below the surface. When faced with a difficult person or circumstance, ask yourself what you need that you are not getting and what this person needs that they might not be getting. Then look for solutions that might enrich both of your lives.

by Dr. Kate Siner