by Dr. Heléna Kate | Oct 14, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Courage is something that everybody wants — an attribute of good character that makes us worthy of respect. From the Bible to fairy tales; ancient myths to Hollywood movies,our culture is rich with exemplary tales of bravery and self-sacrifice for the greater good.
From the cowardly lion in The Wizard of Oz who finds the courage to face the witch, to David battling Goliath in the Bible, to Star Wars and Harry Potter, children are raised on a diet of heroic and inspirational tales.
Yet courage is not just physical bravery. History books tell colorful tales of social activists, such as Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela, who chose to speak out against injustice at great personal risk. Entrepreneurs such as Steve Jobs and Walt Disney, who took financial risks to follow their dreams and innovate are like modern-day knights, exemplifying the rewards and public accolades that courage can bring. There are different types of courage, ranging from physical strength and endurance to mental stamina and innovation.
Here is a list of 6 ways we can show courage.
- 1. Feeling Fear Yet Choosing to Act
- 2. Following Your Heart
- 3. Persevering in the Face of Adversity
- 4. Standing Up For What Is Right
- 5. Expanding Your Horizons; Letting Go of the Familiar
- 6. Facing Suffering With Dignity
Courage-Building Exercise
For this exercise, you will need a notebook and pen, as well as a quiet, uninterrupted space in which you can reflect.
Beginning with the first definition of courage, \”Feeling Afraid Yet Choosing to Act,\” answer the following questions: Think of a situation as an adult when you felt afraid, yet chose to face your fear?
(a) What did you observe, think, and feel at the time? (e.g., \”I saw the rollercoaster and felt butterflies in my stomach\”).
(b) What did you or the people around you say, think, and do to help you face your fear? (e.g., \”I told myself that if little kids could go on it, so could I\”).
(c) At what point did your fear start to go down? How did you feel afterwards?
(d) Now think back on a situation in childhood in which you faced your fear. How was it the same or different than the first situation?
(e) Finally, think of a situation you are currently facing that creates fear or anxiety. What are you most afraid of? (e.g., being fired if I ask my boss for a raise).
(f) Now, is there a way to apply the same skills you used in the two earlier situations to be more courageous this situation. Remind yourself that you have these skills and have used them successfully in the past. What mental or environmental barriers stand in the way of using these skills? How can you cope with or get rid of these barriers?
Repeat this exercise over the course of a week, using each definition of courage above. On Day 7, come up with your own definition of courage that is most meaningful to you and repeat the whole exercise using this definition.
Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D. is a Clinical Psychologist in Mill Valley, California, and expert on Mindfulness, Positive Psychology, and Mind-Body issues , who has published more than 50 scholarly works. Previously a Professor in a Graduate Psychology Program, she is now a practicing psychologist, executive and life coach, speaker, and media consultant.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Oct 12, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
I was asked by a client of mine, “If you had one year to live what would you do?”
I thought about this for a bit. I could not think of anything that I would change. It is not that I don’t want to do things more than I have already but there is nothing that I have not done to some degree –enough to be content.
I even questioned myself about it, “Can that even be true?” But still I felt like I would wake up and keep living the way that I have been living.
But then it came to me: I would eat more ice cream!
No but seriously, there have been times when I asked myself this question and the answers I got were not so light-hearted.
I am an independent and individualistic person. And still, I have woken up some days to realize that I bought some way of doing things in my life that is not right for me but I chose because I either did not know enough to make my own choice or because I was concerned that the way that I wanted to do it was the wrong way.
Point is, this is going to happen so matter who you are and how focused you are on your fulfillment. We all get off track from time to time and it is part of the process of learning and growing to try different things and have some of them fit and some of them not.
However, to make sure that we create the lives we really want, we need to continuously check in with ourselves about a few things:
1. Know yourself. Take time for inward reflection so that you know what you are feeling and are clear on the actions. This is vital for creating self knowledge and a life that really works for you.
2. Evaluate your life on a regular basis. We need to take time to take stock of our lives. What areas of your life might you be neglecting?
3. Do a regular house cleaning. Pay attention to what is dragging you down or outdated and clear it out. I mean this both literally and internally.
4. Focus on what you want. To really have the life that you want you need to spend time actively attending to what you want to create.
Having the life that you know is yours to create takes a little bit of work but the rewards far outweigh the effort.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Oct 9, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Last weekend I went to see my son at college. It was great. There is nothing like a bunch of 18 year olds to get you to reflect about what has changed over the decades and what has not.
As I was talking to him and his friends, I remembered driving cross country in my Ford escort, wondering what the heck I was going to do with myself, and simultaneously feeling free and terrified.
Whenever we start out on something new, we need to take risks (think old ford escort!). Doing something new implies that there are unknowns and we likely feel both exhilarated and terrified in the face of that.
And if we keep fully living, the situations change, the way we relate to them might change but these feelings are pretty consistent.
However, it can be easy to get a bit apathetic in our lives. It can sneak up on us so quickly.
We stop looking at how we can enjoy life more, how we can find a new challenge, or learn something new. Days can start to blend into each other in a type of sameness.
And, sometimes we can even feel grateful for this –for sameness and not for stress.
There is a beauty in the quiet times. However, we sometimes confuse this comfort with having it made. Then we can become attached to it and have a hard time accepting when it is no longer working for us. When it is time to leave some things behind and head out to parts unknown.
So my question for you this week is: When was the last time you felt as excited about something as when you were a teenager and trying so many things for the first time?
If it has not happened in a long time, what might you dream up that leaves you feeling really excited and maybe even a little terrified?
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Oct 7, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Do you feel lost or as if something is missing in your life? Maybe you want to make a bigger difference in the world than you feel you are, but you aren\’t sure how. So many of us walk through life, feeling numb and desperate for a deeper connection, but aren\’t sure how to get it.
The two greatest days of your life are the day you were born, and the day you find out what your purpose is, but if you don\’t know what your purpose is than you don\’t know why you are here, and it can be hard to keep going.
I know this feeling all too well. I used to suffer immense inner turmoil while trying hard to find my purpose. I was in a job I hated, working in advertising under fluorescent lights, and suffocating from the stale corporate air. I saw people like Beyoncé and Justin Timberlake shine so brightly when they performed. I wanted what they had, infectious passion, a thirsty love for life and an unyielding connection to their work.
I struggled daily to figure out my purpose, but it wasn\’t until I took a step back and realized that my purpose isn\’t \”figure-outable\” from my head that I found a way to get there. I thought to myself, \”Maybe the problem isn\’t that I don\’t know what my purpose is; the problem is the way I am trying to find my purpose.\”
We can\’t think our way into our life\’s passion and purpose, we have to do our way in. This means taking steps towards what you want, and removing those things in your life that you don\’t want. I left my successful corporate job on a mission to find my happy, and it came by taking one step at a time and exploring many different passions. If you are looking for your purpose and passion, stop looking and start doing. These steps will help you.
How to Find Your Purpose and Passion
1. Get More Action
You can\’t think your way into finding your life purpose; you have to do your way into it. Take a mental note from Nike and Just Do It. The more we act, the more we get clear on things. So instead of overthinking it — Will this work out? Should I try that? What if I don\’t like it? What if I don\’t make money at it? Start taking steps toward your goals and start trying new things. This will help you get out of your own way. I struggled for years trying to find out what my purpose was. This cycle only created a deeper lack of clarity. It wasn\’t until I started doing that things changed for me. I began writing, and sent a story to Chicken Soup for the Soul. The second I received the letter of acceptance was unlike any ever before, love flooded into my heart and I knew that this was what I had to do with my life. You see though, I had to start writing to learn that my biggest passion was indeed writing. That only came with consistent action.
The experience is the reward; clarity comes through the process of exploring. Action is where you get results.
2. Drop From Your Head to Your Heart
Your heart is your best tool to access your true purpose and passion. Ask yourself what you love? Start taking steps to do what you love. When you are inspired and connected to your happy self, inspiration floods your heart and soul. When you lead from your heart, you are naturally more joyful and motivated to explore. By doing what you love, you will be inspired and gain insights into what brings you the most joy.
3. Break Up with The \”ONE\”
Many of us struggle because we try to find that ONE thing that we are meant to do; but trying to find only one thing is the reason why we feel like something is missing. The notion that we have only one thing we are meant for limits us from fulfilling our greatness. Take me for example; I have six different job titles. I\’m a life coach, travel writer, author, speaker, teacher, mentor, designer, and each thing I do brings me joy, but none of these are my purpose, they are my passions. So start getting in touch with your passions! When you lead a passionate life you are living your life on purpose.
Let go of thinking there is only one purpose for you and embrace the idea that our purpose in life is to love life fully by putting ourselves into our life! This means we jump in and try new things; we stop resisting the unknown and we fully engage in what is happening right here, where we are. To lead a purposeful life, follow your passions. When we live a passion-filled life we are living on purpose, and that is the purpose of life.
That feeling that something is missing goes away when you lead a passion-filled life. The need to seek our purpose comes from a lack of passion. When you don\’t feel connected to your life, you lack purpose and passion. To fix this emptiness simply add more passion. To boil it down, remember this simple equation:
Passion + Daily Action = Purposeful Life
Consider that the real purpose of anyone\’s life is to be fully involved in living. Try to be present for the journey and fully embrace it. Soon you will be oozing with passion, and you will feel so purposeful and fulfilled you will wonder how you lived life without it. Enjoy the journey into your own awesome life.
Shannon Kaiseris a best-selling author, coach and travel writer.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Oct 5, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Have you ever had the experience of finding yourself on a new path in life and suddenly you feel like you’re all alone? You’ve just stepped into a new version of yourself. You’re becoming more aware and you’re paying closer attention to the choices you’re making. Things that used to be your ‘norm’ no longer interest you, and creative ideas are manifesting more easily. You’re exploring new paradigms and experiencing next-level shifts. AND you’re probably feeling more inspired and alive than ever before.
Welcome to the Next Phase of Your Journey
This is just the beginning. As you progressively begin to rely less on purely logical levels of thinking, and shift toward trusting your inner sense of what feels right, you’ll experience greater clarity and a deeper knowingness. From that knowingness, a driving desire is born to explore whatever it is that you’re being drawn toward.
As you follow the breadcrumbs of internal guidance, you’ll find yourself taking action and making different choices. You may start to revel in awe at how your perception and life experience is changing. The energy builds on that and we keep moving in this newfound seemingly directionless direction. But …
But Wait! Where Did Everyone Go?!?!
It\’s often at this juncture that those new to the path encounter some emotional turbulence. This is a natural part of the integration process; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. As your strides turn into quantum leaps, it can become challenging for others in your life to hang on. As a result, there are a few common things that tend to show up…
Sometimes the people in your life will start to tease and poke fun at your new path. Their joking may seem light-hearted, yet to the new trailblazer it may stir up some confusion, sadness, or anger. I mean, “Why can’t they just be happy for me?” It may not mean they don’t want to be supportive of the newfangled you; it could mean that they don’t know how to be supportive. This is new territory for them as well.
Another common occurrence is the realization that the people we were previously associating with aren’t ready to make the leap, so they start to fall away. At first you may perceive this as being a negative experience. “I’m losing all my friends! What is happening here? I’m becoming a better person and now nobody gets me.” (sad face) This can create feelings of emptiness, which may lead to more solitude. It\’s in this solitude that you lean more into that which is calling to you on a soul level, and you find some comfort there.
Here are a few tips for helping you to set your trajectory and maintain your momentum as if your life depends on it. Because it does.
5 Tips to Help You Through the Transition
- Intend clear passage. This is your path. What is right for you is what is right for YOU. We’ve all heard that perception is projection and that we create our reality. That which you go looking for, you are apt to find. That being said, set the intention for clarity of purpose and purity of heart as you journey ever more deeply into that which you seek.
- Listen to your inner guidance. Practice trusting your inner guidance and the art of detachment to outcome. Let go of specific ideas of how you, others, or the end result should look, sound, or feel like. The Universe rarely delivers in precisely the way we are imagining things. In some cases this is an incredible gift. Bottom line: be on the lookout for signs that you’re on the right track. You’ll recognize them when you feel yourself light up with excitement.
- Tend to mindfulness-based practices. Establish your Sadhana, a Sanskrit word that translates into a spiritual discipline undertaken in the pursuit of a goal. Eat food that is alive and nutrient-rich, exercise daily, take time for stillness and silence, acknowledge and be present with your emotions, choose your words carefully, and get lots of fresh air, clean water, and rest.
- Surround yourself with positive, successful people. It’s been said that we take on the qualities of the five people we spend the most time with. Be selective of who you are surrounding yourself with and make it a point to be connected with those who inspire you to keep learning, growing, and evolving. Anything less simply has to go!
- Don’t give up! There is nothing simple and easy about pioneering a new path. Personal development is tough work, but it’s also exhilarating and fulfilling work. In fact, it’s your only work. As someone who has charted my own course through both torrential downpour and golden sunsets, I can say for certain that, had I chosen the path of least resistance, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
Now go out there and shine. Really shine! I’m rooting for you.
reblogged from Chopra Centered LifeStyle
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