by Dr. Heléna Kate | Apr 13, 2015 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
This week I want to talk about personal power and empowerment. What does it mean be in your power? What gets you there, what holds you there, and what gets you off track? When you know more about these dynamics you are able to harness really deep forces for creation and transformation.
What does it mean? The term empowerment was popularized in the 80’s. It was based on the idea of “giving to, or increasing, the strengths of other groups of people whether those are educational, spiritual or otherwise.” Personal empowerment then became a buzz phrase for when we “give” ourselves back our own power or when we feel our own sense of power without the need to hold it over another.
Like many expressions of the personal development field, the phrase personal empowerment states something in a way that helps us understand how to shift our perspective. We have the ability to do or say things that will give us more power. We have the ability to hold our power in a way that is more about our deep respect for our self than it is about holding it over or using it on another. Personal power and our own empowerment is the result of our knowing we have the ability to choose and in influence the many aspects of our life.
What gets you there? If we have the ability to empower ourselves then how do we do this? What are the practical everyday types of things that you can do to feel confident and able to move forward with whatever you want to create in your life.
From an energetic perspective, being in our power overlaps with other experiences such as being centered, grounded, connected to our self, or clear (other expressions that help us understand HOW to be more powerful.) When we cultivate these states, we cultivate a stronger sense of personal power.
What holds you there? Once we have discovered our own power, we soon find that we can just as quickly lose sight of it. To stay connected with our power, we need to put ourselves in environments that support us and learn how to support ourselves. We need to need to take care of ourselves in the deepest way possible. And, be more and more aware of the situation in which we lose touch with our personal power.
What gets you off track? Standardly, what gets people off track are the core patterns that disempowered them in the first place. Somewhere along the line, you were hurt while being in your fullness and this had you take a dramatic action to try and protect yourself. Once we have reclaimed our power we are most likely to let it go when we face replicas of these past events. You can easily find out what gets you off track by figuring out what you are afraid of or afraid of having happen.
Why is this really important? Staying connected to your personal power is foundational to being able to create the life and business that you want. Without it, we do not know how to see each situation as an opportunity and each moment as a choice. This limits what we can create and often leaves us playing the role of the victim rather than the role of the victor.
What is personal power and how can you connect to it and use it to propel your life? This week on Real Answers Radio, Dr. Kate discusses how personal power is linked to being able to create and manifest what you want in your life. From this perspective, tools for cultivating personal power are one of the most important things we can learn. Tune in to explore what being empowered really means and what you can do to step for fully into it.
by Dr. Heléna Kate | Feb 15, 2015 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Living our purpose is the key to our fulfillment. Creating both an inner and outer positive impact through living our life purpose will take us beyond what we might have seen as possible. When stepping into our purpose this way, we will experience a depth of meaning and harmony. We become less afraid of outcome and more able to face difficult truths. We become this way because we are doing exactly what we are best able to do.
Each and every one of us will not feel satisfied or fulfilled in our lives until we understand the power we hold. For example, if I go to work and believe my actions and interactions are meaningless regardless of what my job is, this will have a negative effect on how I perceive my life and how much meaning it has. Or, if I perceive myself as a victim in all circumstances ― feeling as though the world sets me up to knock me down ― I will shy away from actions that might prove otherwise. As a result, I am likely to create situations that prove I am at the mercy of the world. This perspective will leave me blaming others, feeling resentful, and feeling stuck.
On the other hand, if I see my actions ― regardless of my situation ― as having the potential to have a positive impact and to be within my control, I will feel more positive about my life, more excited by my choices, and, ultimately, more deeply fulfilled and satisfied. More than that, if I see a situation that is dangerous, negative, or hurtful, I will feel it is possible for me to take action in a positive way. As a result, I will see even more positive effects and will likely find it easier to face even more challenging circumstances in a more positive way. This makes a profound difference in my life and the lives of others.
Think of this in terms of your life’s purpose. In order to move toward your life purpose you will need to feel as though what you are doing makes a difference ― that you are capable of making a difference at least in your own life. Otherwise, there is no reason to bother.
Whatever it is that you feel passionately about, you can do it! You were meant to do that thing more than anything else. Think about yourself in the terms that Alan Watts used: “You are the perfect expression of the universe exactly where you are in this moment.” Or, as Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: “The eye was placed where one ray should fall, that it might testify of that particular ray.”
When you begin to see yourself as a being who is connected organically to the rest of the world ― whose personal wants are whispers of the universe ― then you can begin to see your work as imperative, but less personally driven. Of course, because you are doing exactly what you want to do, you benefit as well. Following what you love and exploring the ideas and options that emerge is a great way to hone your ability to envision a different future for yourself and others.
The thing is, people often think that there is some secret to finding out what you really love. However, this is not the case. The biggest thing that you need to do is pay attention to when you are feeling good. If you have not felt good in a while, then think about a time when you were happy –even if it means thinking back to when you were a kid. Want to build on this? Think of a time that you lost track of time because you were so engrossed in an activity. These are the cues that show you your purpose.
The following questions that get you to think outside of the limitations you have placed on yourself are also helpful in getting clear on your purpose. If money were no issue, how would you spend your time? Or, if you could do anything, what would your ideal day look like? One of my favorites, is list people you are jealous of and why. (The why is something you want more of in your life.)
The fact of the matter is that once you know what you love, the key is doing as much of it as possible. It is when we do more of what we love that we uncover and clarify our purpose as well as make our lives much more fulfilled. Sometimes, it can feel a bit overwhelming or out of reach to bring what we love into our life. So, start small. Small, consistent changes make a huge difference over time. Set goals for yourself. So, you can be clear about and proud of your progress as you bring in more and more of what you want.
Tune into this hour of Real Answers Radio as Dr. Kate discusses how to tap into your passion and purpose and most importantly, how to take that passion and use it to craft more and more pleasure, happiness and deep satisfaction in all that you do.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Mar 30, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Along with self-care, the idea of “what we deserve” can be riddled with entitlement. However, what it basically means is that we are willing to take in the same amount that we put out -that we are willing to create balance and health in our lives.
Let’s take a moment to tune in and pay attention to what is going on inside of us.
What are you rationalizing, making excuses for, and in general tolerating in your life because you really want something and are willing to get a fraction of it because somewhere deep inside you believe that might be the best you are going to get?
Or, maybe, it does not even get that conscious. Maybe you just settle before even becoming aware of it.
So, let’s wake up. Life is truly to short to be anything less than our full and fabulous selves. It is not a matter of entitlement. It is a matter of stewardship. Ultimately, what serves this life that you are living –what affirms it.
Move in that direction every chance you get. It is a recipe for fulfillment and success.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Mar 25, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
There are some things that maintaining our victimhood gives us. People are less likely to challenge us or try to over power us. Often they are willing to give us our way if we have had a hard enough time. We have a tendency to think that we are less responsible for our actions and emotions. And, with all the privilege that we have victims actually have a bit of social capital.
The hardest thing about playing the victim is that the last thing that we want to do is admit that it is what we are doing –how embarrassing! However, spotting it and transforming it could be one of the most amazing transformations of our life.
Let’s be clear here. There are some points in our lives where we may have been victimized and there are people who experience this again and again in their lives. This has serious repercussions and I am most certainly not saying get over it to this.
However, some of us might benefit from moving on and becoming more empowered –using our power directly rather than passive aggressively with others.
How do you know if this is you? Here are some clues that you might be being a victim:
- Do you blame others or circumstances for what you do or don’t do?
- Do you feel righteous in your actions and words regardless of what they are in a disagreement?
- Do you break promises and agreements because they are not comfortable for you to keep or because of “circumstances”?
- Do you explain away your behavior and provided no one hold you to it you let them do the changing?
If you do chances are you are justifying things as being out of your control or somebody else’s fault –and that is the territory of the victim.
Here is what you can do instead:
- When something goes wrong look at your contribution.
- When you have a fight or disagreement look at your contribution.
- Honor your commitments. In the words of Larry Winget \”Do you do what you said you would do, when you said you would do it!\”
- Try to see your missteps and make it a point to set things right.
- Pay more attention to your own action and accountability than to others.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Mar 23, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Have you ever felt victimized in your life or met someone who is constantly be running the “poor me” story and feels completely powerless to change their reality? Chances are you have. We all have at one point in our lives felt like victims, but why is it that some people identify with the personality of victimization while others choose to get up, reclaim their personal power and take full responsibility for the outcomes they have manifested in their lives? And why is it that people who are compassionate tend to attract victims to their lives? Or why do victims sometimes end up as perpetrators and lash out at those who are trying to help them?
Victimization is an epidemic in our society and in this article we will uncover the minute details of the Professional Victim Archetypes and its multiple manifestations and relationship dynamics. Remember that these are archetypes, personas and manifestations of the shadow self. Do not confuse the description of the archetypes with your essence or the essence of another person, for no one is truly a victim, but rather some of us simply have chosen to unconsciously identify with these archetypes.
Professional Victim Persona:
Victim of the world. Blames everyone and everything, including their own incompetence, irresponsibility and even predatory behaviors. Victims expect special treatment or exemption from life because he/she is so fragile and decimated by tyrants. They will often attack even those who are trying to help them and may often collapse into dysfunction “you can’t expect anything from me.”
Addictions: powerlessness, worry and cynicism
Goal: regain safety
Fear: exploitation
Issue: Is “victimized” by the conditions required by solutions. In order for victims to heal their victimization they must take full responsibility for their life and its outcomes.
Virtue: once the victim persona is transcended the person becomes interdependent.
Victims point the finger of blame at everyone else except themselves. Blaming everyone (family, relationships, co-workers, friends, teachers, healers, coaches, etc.) and everything (government , media, weather, economy,etc.) for why they are unhappy and life is such a struggle. Victims do not take responsibility for their own happiness, they believe that the responsibility for their happiness is owed to them by other people. Victims find compassionate people and then blame them because they are not happy. People who are identified with the victim persona are not fun to be around because even compassionate people will eventually turn into tyrants in order to get rid off the victim. At first when a compassionate person engages with a victim they think “I must help him/her” and they do anything possible to help this person. Then the victim keeps blaming the compassionate person because they are not happy or not feeling well and then one day the compassionate person who is playing the Rescuer Archetype explode and turns into the tyrant.
Victim-Persecutor-Rescuer Complex:
If you play the rescuer and the person you are rescuing does not need it, they will lash out and victimize you. When they become the persecutor and victimize you, later they are likely to feel guilty and try to save you as well, making them the rescuer. If a person plays one of these roles then they will most likely end up playing all three. These roles tend to cycle and repeat over and over again – a classic “karmic loop.”
Victims are very addicted to the emotions of hatred and pity. They project their own self hatred to others and constantly tell their “poor me” story so that other people feel pity towards them. Victims are energy vampires and they extract energy from other people who have pity for them. Another way victims get their energy is by putting a guilt trip on everyone by blaming them. This is exactly why compassionate people tend to attract victims.
Compassionate People Persona:
If a compassionate person has unresolved guilt from past lives, the guilt makes us blind to victims.Our willingness to help other people because we are trying to get rid of our own guilt makes us easy prey for victims. Compassionate people are often emotionally addicted to the need to be needed. There is a big difference from TRUE COMPASSION and emotional neediness.. Sometimes true compassion requires us to tell victims that we will not accept their guilt anymore and ask them to leave.This is compassion because it encourages the victim to become independent and sovereign.
Victims will often say “I have tried everything” as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility and will blame the methods, techniques and healers for their own unhappiness. Many people in the coaching and healing industry are compassionate people with good intentions that unfortunately attract a lot of victims who only want to do is suck their energy and are not really committed to become their own rescuers, take responsibility and do the work that needs to be done. Although victims have tried many different approaches, many victims will keep telling themselves and other people same story of how “my life was devastated”, “I’m so unlucky”, “life has been so cruel”, “some of us are not meant to be happy” or “no matter what I do nothing works”. Their reality will never change as long as they keep running and identifying with the same story. As long as they expect other people to “make” them happy and do all the work for them NOTHING will change, they might get a relief but soon enough they will go back to their own ways. We all have seen people who have gone through incredible hardships of abuse, poverty and other misfortunes only to become people who inspire others with their stories of success, happiness and triumph. All of them have one thing in common, they didn’t let their circumstances define who they were and they became extremely hungry and believed they could defy all odds. They simply changed their story, gave it a new meaning and took massive action to achieve what they envisioned.
If you have identified with the Victim Persona it is time to clear this energetically from your field and reclaim your personal power. Only then will you be able to take full responsibility for your own happiness, take charge of your life and become ALIVE again. If you are a compassionate person or you are playing the Rescuer Archetype is time to energetically clear your unconscious guilt, the need to be needed and begin to focus on helping those who actually are willing to receive your help and will benefit from it. If you were once a victim and someone told you to leave, be grateful for the opportunity to become independent and sovereign.
Commit to eradicate all thoughts, behaviors, words and rituals that resonate with victimization, blame and guilt. Take full responsibility, embody your personal power and become the master of your own destiny.
reblogged from ascendedrelationships.com
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