by Dr. Heléna Kate | Dec 23, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Recently, in my Celebrity Expert spot that will be on CBS, NBC, ABC and FOX affiliates across the country, Bob Guiney asked me if people are put off by my tattoos. I said that my work is about being yourself and living fully. So, whether people like them or not they at least show I am walking my talk!
The world is constantly going to give us feedback about ourselves, some of which is bound to not be positive.
One of the things that I see happen to my clients is that they sometimes get caught up in the idea that since they want to improve themselves that means there is something wrong with the way they are now and they should try and change as quickly as possible. They take negative feedback from others as sign that this is true. This way of thinking is very logical but not very accurate.
There does not need to be anything wrong with a flower for it to closed for a time before it blooms, right?
Sometimes the best way to move forward is to actually love and accept where we are when we are starting. Today’s starting point, was after all, a desired destination at one point in time whether or not we were conscious of it. And, where we are headed will one day be what we are eager to leave behind.
Then, of course, there are those parts of our self that we don’t like that never seem to change at all. For example, I can’t spell and I am often late. These are not my favorite traits but I can either love them or hate them but they are more likely than not going to be hanging around for a bit.
When we are confronted with parts of our self that we just do not like, it is helpful to remember that we are multifaceted people and that our strengths may actually need our weaknesses to be what they are. Who ever came up with the idea we were supposed to be without flaws anyway? Everyone has them and somehow they are still viewed as something that needs to be fixed.
What would happen in your life if you decided it is ok to have your flaws, weaknesses, and shortcomings?
One of the things that I always liked about the Greek gods is that they are all incredibly flawed. They were not powerful because they were perfect. They were powerful because that was the truth of who they were – flaws and all.
The best change comes from a loving unfolding of who we are in the world and a deep appreciation for the truth of who we are, every last bit of it.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Dec 14, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
I am writing you from 30,000 feet. It is 10pm and I got delayed. I should have arrived three hours ago. I’ve been doing a lot of travel this week and am hungry so naturally I am up here in the air thinking reflecting on unhappiness!
Clearly, the airline and airports made a few mistakes to get me here but the most bothersome part of the flight delay that let to my missing my next flight is that during the whole thing no one even showed an ounce of compassion. I swear they were all Zombies. I get it – airline employees deal with so many problems in the course of the day. But the degree to which these people were unhappy with their jobs and unhappy with me by proxy was astounding. So I want to focus this week on joy.
Emotional Zombies
At any given time, there can be one or more parts of your life that you are less than totally satisfied with. Some of this has to do with the continual changes that we are going through –what once worked now does not. However, sometimes we never had satisfaction to begin with.
If you do not take care of what is making you unhappy, you will find yourself shutting down more and more –turning into an emotional zombie. There are some rules of thumb when it comes to being a happier person that can never hurt for us to be reminded of.
Know that you are 100% responsible for your life –every last bit of it. It may seem like this is a recipe for misery but it is a crucial component in being happier in every moment.
Take care of the things that are not working for you. When your engine light comes on, if you do not take your car to the shop it is only going to get worse from there on. Your life is the same.
Be kind to people – including yourself. This is the reminder that I got from the people in the airport. Even if you are in a bad mood, do your best to find it in yourself to be authentically nice to all the people you encounter.
These three steps alone will help you feel more energetic, joyful, and help you feel alive as you go through your life.
Do you know that the above changes can make you happier but not sure HOW? Consider working with me and get the tools and support you need to create change! www.katesiner.com
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Nov 25, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
I came onto the path of mindfulness, meditation, and spirituality when I was 16 years old. I saw the TV-series Ed where the main character started experimenting with lucid dreaming.
That got me interested, and that is where my journey started. It hasn’t been an easy journey by any means, but I’m nearing a decade on this path, and I don’t regret it for a moment.
I’ve been through a lot of challenges, such as going through brief spurts of depression. I’ve felt like I wasn’t good enough, and that life wouldn’t work out the way I wanted it to. In every one of these cases I let my thoughts run wild. I started focusing on the negative instead of on the positive, and I think many people have the same tendency.
So there have been both ups and downs, but in the end they have all been there for a reason. And with each “bad period,” I’ve learned more and more about myself.
Truly living in the present moment isn’t easy, but it is highly rewarding. The best way to move forward on your own path to “here and now” is to understand the potential obstacles and plan in advance how you’ll deal with them.
1. Mindfulness takes ongoing effort.
Mindfulness takes work, but the good news is that the longer you practice, the easier it gets, and the more joyful your life becomes. Mindfulness is best practiced throughout your day. It’s not just for when you sit down and meditate. Focus on being mindful of your thoughts when you’re doing everyday tasks and it will be easier to remain mindful when things get tough.
2. There will always be distractions.
When you’re on your journey to becoming more mindful, it seems as if the universe starts throwing stuff at you just to give you challenges. The distractions could be problems in your life, drama in your relationships, or old negative beliefs popping up from your past. These are great opportunities to practice present moment awareness. They will help you become stronger, better, and more in tune with yourself. The problems and challenges we face are teachers in disguise. They are there to help you grow and to realize who you truly are.
3. Progress doesn’t always come quickly.
Progress may seem excruciatingly slow. There will be times when you attach to things and situations that you want, which will make it difficult to be fully in the present moment. It’s impossible to be mindful when you’re dwelling on the past or obsessing about the future. We all do those things sometimes. I’ve experienced it countless times in my own life. The more I want something, the more I fixate on not having it and wanting to get it. Once I release the attachment and focus on being grateful for what I have in the moment, my life seems to shift, and progress seems to happen naturally.
4. You may want to give up.
Like with any worthwhile journey, you may feel like giving up and throwing in the towel multiple times. But it is during the times when you feel most frustrated that you are often on the verge of a breakthrough. Our lives are very similar to the seasons. We go through cold, dark winters, and joyful, expanding summers. It all comes and goes. It’s the ebb and flow of life. When you realize that the challenging times are there to help you grow, you will automatically feel more peaceful and relaxed.
5. Your goals may challenge your mindfulness.
Having goals is fantastic, essential even, but when you become overly attached to them, something bad happens, just like we talked about above. You know that you’re too attached to something when you start feeling frustrated, angry, and negative. Attachment muddles our clarity. You’re likely pursuing your goals because you believe they will make you happy. Remember that when you start letting your goals pull you into a stressful state of mind. If you focus on the good things around you, you’ll feel that happiness that you think you need to chase. This will make you much happier in the long term, and, of course, right now.
6. You might forget that the journey is the destination.
Most people miss the fact that the reward is in the journey. Have you ever noticed that when you reach a goal, it’s not as exciting as you thought it would be? Sure, it feels great to hit a milestone, but if you do not replace that goal with another one, you will soon find yourself feeling unfulfilled. That’s because we are goal-seeking mechanisms. Humans need goals so they can have a sense of purpose and fulfillment. It is in the journey that we learn, grow, and become better. When you’re practicing mindfulness, remember that there is nowhere to arrive at. If you focus on what is going on right now, the rest take care of itself.
7. Sometimes you’ll want to be anywhere but in the now.
Even the most enlightened masters on earth have to deal with difficult situations and chaotic thoughts. The difference is they have learned to accept the moment for what it is. When you do this, you become the guardian of your inner space, which is the only way to feel good inside and find peace of mind, right now.
Henri writes at Wake Up Cloud and he is also the author of Find Your Passion: 25 Questions You Must Ask Yourself and Follow Your Heart: 21 Days to a Happier, More Fulfilling Life. The above article reblogged from TinyBuddha.com
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Nov 23, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
It comes and goes. Sometimes we feel like we are on track to our dreams and other times we can feel overwhelmed and a bit hopeless about ever reaching them. Devoting yourself to your soul’s ambition is not always an easy street.
Here are some things that are helpful to know:
It gets harder once you commit: When you decide to fully commit yourself one of the first things that you can come up against is all of your resistance. This is not a sign that things are going wrong. Keep moving. You are on the right track.
The eternal revisions: Think you have it down once and for all? Well, um, unlikely. You have committed to a process. There will be points along the way where events will encourage you to take a second, and sometimes fifth, look at where you are going. This can be hard but having the courage to look will go a long way.
When it is over: Sometimes, our greatest dreams turn out to be stepping stones. Know that if your dream turns out to be less on target than you originally thought that this is not a failure it is the beginning of something larger than which you were previously able to dream.
Overall, the key is not to figure it out. It is to get deeply connected with yourself and your own truth. The more that you can connect in to your core, the easier it will be for you to make the decisions you need to grow.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Nov 9, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
If you have gone into business for yourself, chances are you were in some way lured in by this promise of freedom –the freedom to work when you want, where you want, and how you want.
To create business in line with your values and have the money to support the things you believe in. What you likely learned is that creating that level of freedom, quality and profit is far from easy. In fact, you can end up running on an even faster treadmill or swimming with even more vicious sharks than you would if you were working in corporate.
So, is this promise land of freedom and riches even possible?
Absolutely.
But big secret is that who you are on the inside makes a huge difference in your success. In fact, psychological research is showing that our perception is key to whether we feel like we have what makes us happy regardless of what it is that we have.
In other words, you can have all the riches in the world and your mindset will dictate whether or not you feel wealthy. So, if you are thinking that if you increase your income, or lower your work hours you will feel successful or happier, you may be chasing the proverbial carrot.
Having a Ph.D in Psychology and having worked in one way or another in the health and wellness industry for the past 20 years, I believe that business can be healing. It can improve the quality of life of the entrepreneur, the customer or client, the community, and the larger world. It can support things that have value and decrease the value of harmful practices and products in the world.
But, what is it that makes a business quality driven AND profitable? It is the character, values, and general consciousness of the entrepreneur themselves? Without engaging in self-reflection, gratitude, creative practice and personal development, it is impossible for the entrepreneur to create a business that has both a positive effect and a profit. Our perception restricts us from seeing the opportunities that would allow us to create positive alternatives.
My suggestions for would-be and seasoned entrepreneurs alike is that they make sure that their own personal development is part of their business plan and that they use this self-reflection to create businesses and lives that are healthy, wealthy, and happy.
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