by Dr. Heléna Kate | Aug 19, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
When I met Larry Winget for the first time he was telling the story of how after working his tail off to become a professional public speaker he basically woke up one day and realized he hated his life. I listened and thought to myself, “Wow, how does that happen?”
I have always been so staunchly focused on creating the life that I want for myself, I didnt think that I would ever have that kind of experience…
I don’t think I got to the place that Larry Winget got too. I didn’t feel like it was all wrong BUT I definitely felt all the places in my life where I was not doing it my way and I was not as happy as I could be.
Afterall, isn’t my work about fulfillment?
I Did It My Way
\”For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself, then he has naught. To say the things he truly feels; And not the words of one who kneels. The record shows I took the blows – And did it my way!\”
Frank Sinatra
It is true, as Sinatra says, that if we don’t have ourselves we have nothing and also true is that we are made the way we are made because we have something very special to offer. When we realize this, we have something fabulous –we have the recipe for success and fulfillment.
Why do I need to say this?
Well in situation after situation, home, school, jobs…we are told that we need to make ourselves fit the mold. We are told this so much that even if we feel that we are staunchly devoted to doing it our way, we can still get worn down little by little.
Sometimes this process helps us see even more of yourself and sometimes it obscures it.
Time will let us know… And our own level of happiness.
So my words of wisdom for the day are: If you find yourself leaving parts of you behind that truly made you happy, go back and get them! What is back there will definitely make you happier and may be the key to your success. It has been for Larry and I.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Aug 14, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Social media is everywhere. If you’re like me you know you have to be engaging on it. I confess I’m not always on it and I do social media marketing and management for a living. Crazy Huh. I feel lately there is so much content out there on social media that what I have to say isn’t new. I want my content to be engaging and relevant and new. So I’m on a mission. My mission is to go deeper on my blog, with social media and in my life. So join me!
So how in the world am I going to do that in a culture that is on information overload. Heck, I feel like I’m an information junkie. Do you ever feel that way? I’m going to start with engaging. I’m going to ask you a point blank question; Are you engaging with your list and your various connections on the social media platforms? What are you doing to engage them? So here are my 3 steps for engaging.
1. Talk to them not at them! I’m learning this over and over again is that when I talk to them by adding a human element, I get a response. No one likes to be talked at. An example of what not to do, (and I’ve been guilty with this one) is don’t always write “Read my Blogpost” or “Attend my webinar”! It is essential to provide a safe place to nurture a two way conversation.
2. Provide valuable content and encourage your audience to give feedback. One of my favorite things to do is my video social media tip and I always ask things like “Does this work for you?” or “What are your thoughts on this?” This really starts the conversation rolling.
3. Look for ways to always start a conversation by focusing on them, and their needs. I love to ask questions to find out what my audience needs. I love to find out some of the things that they are doing in their business. One thing I did a couple of weeks is I posted a challenge on my video tip on a Friday to implement on Monday. I asked them to tell me how the implementation went. Had a great response.
The biggest thing for me with engaging more is to create relationships with the people I come into contact with, rather if it’s online or offline. What do you do to engage more on social media?
Read more by Lorraine on her website BizGoneSocial
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Aug 12, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
What ever goes on within the confines of your mind will surely reflect on your outside actions. What does that mean? What you think about and how you think about them will determine the level of income you earn, the type of house you live in, the type of car you drive, the type of relationships you have, etc. Take a look at what you have right now. Everything that you have around you will tell you what type of thoughts you grant attention to.
This can make a real impact on your life. Since your most dominant thoughts will determine the type of actions you take which will determine the type of lifestyle you live, it would be best to expand your mind by learning all that you can. A person who only knows of working for wages cannot hope to attain the millionaire mark. But by learning and applying different and honorable ways to earn income, the chances of attaining such a mark increase. I know we all have thought, “I\’ve heard that before. It’s nothing new”. But that is precisely why so many people still work for wages and a small amount earn giant amounts of income. Because one may have heard helpful information before, doesn’t mean that one utilizes it.
It is not enough to just “know” about something. It’s useless if you don’t put it to practical use. Here is one secret to success: Listen from those who have gone to where you want to go (i.e. books, mentors, programs, seminars), apply those steps to your own venture, and leave nature no choice but to send success your way. This alone will entirely change the way you think. Therefore, changing your actions and creating a different set of results you wouldn’t have gotten if you didn’t apply the one secret to success. This also works on other aspects other than money. The bottom line: Expand your mind in the direction you want to go, exceed your limits, and create desired results.
Reblogged from the Success Coach Corner
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Aug 10, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Most people like to think what they have to say is important. If you or I make the effort to share thoughts, feelings, or knowledge, then we want to believe the intended recipient is listening. But honestly, many people are too distracted to really take it all in when someone else is doing the talking. What\’s worse is that so many just watch mouths move, waiting for the chance to chime in.
Great leaders understand the value of active listening and get the most benefit from what others have to share. They understand that if you want to be heard and understood, the first step is learning how to listen yourself. The following are actions shared by those who truly know how to listen. Integrate them into your conversational behavior and you might be surprised what you learn.
1. Be present. Being \”in the moment\” is not just for yoga or Grateful Dead concerts. If you are going to take in what someone is saying, you have to truly focus your mental awareness on the person. Push distractions aside. Give a person the gift of your attention. Put down the smartphone, turn off your computer screen, put down the book or magazine, and look at him or her with a neutral or pleasant expression. Most people are so accustomed to having half of someone else\’s focus at any given moment that this gesture alone will make them feel important and it will allow you to actually hear what they are saying.
2. Turn down the inner voice. Internal analysis of any conversation is unavoidable and necessary, but often it\’s at the expense of objectivity. That voice can actually take over in your brain to the point at which you are no longer listening to the person talking and instead simply listening to the diatribe in your head. There is plenty of time after a conversation to assess the value of what you heard, but first you have to hear it. One technique for quieting the inner voice is simple note taking. Writing down even key words or short phrases will force you to absorb the information coming in. Then you can process it on your own outside the presence of the speaker. As an added benefit, you\’ll have a more accurate representation of what was actually said for later discussion.
3. Hold up a mirror. This is a technique many psychologists and counselors recommend to help alleviate conflict. When the opportunity arises, speak up and describe for the person what you have just heard him or her say. It is OK to rephrase in your own words. Be sure to end with a request for confirmation: \”So what you\’re most concerned about is that the new hires lack training. Is that accurate?\” The speaker then knows you are paying attention and fully engaged.
4. Ask for clarification. During a conversation, hunt for areas of interest where you might further inquire. Without derailing his or her train of thought, ask the speaker to expand and clarify: \”What do you mean by \’interesting?\’\” or \”Why do you think that is so important?\” The speaker will appreciate the interaction, and you will gain better understanding of the person\’s perspective as well as your own perception of the information.
5. Establish follow-up. At the end of any conversation, discuss and determine if there are action steps required. This check-in will alert speakers to your actual concern for what they said, and help them assess their own relevancy to your needs. Express appreciation for their sharing, and let them know what you found to be valuable from the conversation. Making them feel heard increases the odds they\’ll truly listen to you when you have something to say you believe is important.
reblogged from Inc.com. For more articles by Kevin Daum sign up here.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Aug 7, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
This morning, I was on the phone with one of the most dynamic women I’ve ever met. We were talking about a joint venture based on her initial success with clients of a particular product she launched. She then uttered the words that I’ve heard time and time again from women, including myself:
“I’m just not sure that I’m credible enough yet to lead this. Have I done enough in the industry to show that I’m the right person to do it?”
And that, my friends, is the key to what holds us back. While it’s a generalization, of course, it’s one that I’ve seen throughout my career. Women remain steadily focused on competence, while men are focused on confidence. When offered an opportunity, we women wonder: ,”Am I good enough? Do I deserve this? Do I have enough expertise in this area?” While men, when offered that same opportunity, tend to jump up and volunteer — even when they don’t know what they’re talking about. They say yes first, and figure it out later.
Competence is an amazing and necessary thing. But, as you grow in your career, ask yourself if you’ve worked as hard on your confidence as you have on your competence. Granted, there’s no MBA in “confidence,” but it is a skill that most certainly can be taught.
Here are a few ways to build up your confidence:
1. Set a MVC metric.
Knowledge is key, but we often hide behind needing to “know more” before we act. What is the minimal amount of competence that you need on a subject before you can push forward? Figure out the Minimum Viable Competence (MVC) needed — then go get that. You can (and should) continue to learn, of course, but once you have MVC, it’s time to go for it.
2. Ask for feedback.
Look for people who are invested in you and ask them what it is about you that makes you great. It’s not fishing for compliments; it’s building your tolerance for hearing great things about yourself without cringing. Even better? Also ask for areas of improvement. Work on those, but don’t stop pushing forward as you’re doing that hard work. Learning how to take constructive feedback (both positive and negative) is vital.
3. Dream big.
Imagine what your life and career would be like if nothing was holding you back. No barriers, no politics, nothing. Write it down. Then ask yourself: Why on earth you are letting anything stand between you and what you really want? Aren’t you worth that dream? Aren’t you competent enough to execute against that dream? If not, why not? Find out if it’s an actual physical challenge — or if it’s just negative self-talk and lack of confidence that’s holding you back.
By the time I had finished my call with that brilliant young woman I spoke with this morning, we had hatched an idea for a business that will hopefully be a great success for her. It may, of course, fall flat on its face. But one thing is for sure: There’s nothing in the world holding her, or anyone else, back from just going for it.
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