by Dr. Heléna Kate | Oct 9, 2017 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Depression is a clinical term used to label a group of behaviors and internal experiences associated with a depressed mood. It is also a clinical diagnosis. Depression is different than being sad. Sadness is a normal part of life and, as long as you are not feeling it all the time, it is actually a healthy thing for you to feel. It is important to realize that learning how to be happy again after depression looks slightly different for everyone.
Sometimes, we battle our way through a bad bout of depression and come out on the other side, only to find ourselves still feeling sad. While this can be a frustrating and disappointing reality about life “after” depression, it is important to acknowledge that feeling sadness can be an indicator of positive progress. Depression often leaves us unable to feel anything at all, let alone sad. It may not be your first pick for your team, but sadness truly has its hidden virtues.
The truth is that “after depression” just isn’t a reality for many people. Depression is actually a lifelong challenge that we learn to live and work with, more and more effectively. So, it’s understandable that knowing how to be happy again after depression may seem far-fetched or unattainable to many. And if you’re depressed, you should not be ashamed about that experience or of asking for help. If you are in that “after-depression” space, it can take a bit to get back to regular habits.
Here are some tips to help you get back on track.
1. Give yourself time to be sad: If you are still feeling sad the most important thing you can do is give yourself space to feel that way. Be deliberate. Sit on the couch for an hour and let yourself be sad. Then, get up and get moving.
2. Start slow: Often times depression leads to inactivity which can push us out of the healthy habits that we might have at other points in our life. Don’t expect to jump straight back into all your activities. Give yourself lots of time to slowly bring things back. It is good to push yourself, but don’t push too hard.
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3. Make it easy: Sometimes what was a small step for us when feeling better is a huge step after being depressed for awhile. The smaller and easier you can make your new activities, the more likely you are to succeed. Give yourself that chance.
4. Acknowledge your progress: It can be easy to be critical of your abilities and your progress, especially if you have an anxiety disorder that exacerbates this behavior. It is vital that you acknowledge each new and beneficial thing you add to your life. You just ran an emotional marathon and now you are showing up at the gym. This is no small thing.
5. Choose the lesser of two evils: Our perspective gets skewed when we are depressed. We lose sight of what is good for us. When you are recovering from depression, you might feel as though you are choosing between something that is not so good and something that is worse. Try and choose the easier or slightly better option.
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6. Take a day off: Yes you want to get back on track, but if you give yourself a moment to breathe, it may help you get where you want to go faster in the end.
7. Stick with it: You did not get to where you are in one day. You won\’t get to where you want to be in one day either. Keep making efforts and you will see results, even if it takes time. You’ve got this.
Mental illness isn’t something you can just will to go away, but there are treatments that can help you deal with your depression.
If you’re still feeling sad after your depression, I hope these actionable tips help you. Life is a continuous journey and it usually isn’t a smooth one, especially if you\’re learning how to be happy again after depression. Whether you suffer from depression or not, the best thing you can do for yourself is build up these life skills and techniques so that you can put them into place when you’re able. My LifeWork Community program is a great way to help you build practices that will support your wellbeing. Click here to learn more.
by Dr. Heléna Kate | Sep 25, 2017 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Ever wonder, “Why is finding your purpose so important?” It seems like it requires a lot of effort (all that personal development work ), time (all those hours spent doing that personal development work), and even money (you probably pay someone to guide you in your work). So, is it worth it?
Well, yes.
There are two ways to go through life: We can strive to be conscious of our purpose and pursue it, or we can leave that call unanswered. When we choose to be more conscious, we live the same peaks and valleys of life as everyone else, but we experience them differently. The peaks and valleys in the life of a conscious person inform them, strengthen them, and ultimately lead them to greater well being.
If we live an unconscious life, without purpose, life just happens to us.
“Finding your Life Purpose means that you feel good with the way that you are situated in the world and your actions in it have a sense of meaning to you. It does not mean that you have suddenly discovered that you are going to be the person to cure cancer (although that is a possibility). Our purpose is, more often than not, not one act or one career, but a greater sense that our inside self and our outer life are in alignment.” [Excerpt from 4 Giant Ways Your Life Changes When You Find Your Purpose]
Why is finding your purpose so Important? Here are 7 Reasons Why:
1. Meaning: Finding your life purpose creates a sense of meaning in your life. You know what you love to do, what you are good at, and how you can contribute to the world.
2. Place: Finding a sense of meaning to life gives you a sense of place. When you have found your purpose, it is easier to know where you belong. You also gain an understanding of the environments and communities that you benefit from connecting with.
3. Choice: When you know your life purpose you are more easily able to exercise choice in each moment of your life. You know better whether a situation or person really fits in your life because you know why you are here and what you want to do.
4. Sense of self: Knowing your life purpose gives you a clearer sense of who you are. It is as if you have distilled your life down to its essence by connecting with your purpose.
5. Ease: Believe it or not, knowing your purpose makes life easier. You know what to pay attention to and what is less important. You spend less time and energy caught up on the things that don’t really have impact.
6. Positive Impact: Knowing your purpose allows you to have a much greater impact on the world. Your purpose allows you to have the most profound impact – but only if you actually live it. Find your purpose and help contribute to a better world.
7. Confidence: When you know your life purpose you are more confident. You know that you are here for a reason and that your contribution counts. Be confident in the knowledge that we ALL have a purpose, whether we have found it yet or not.
I help women step into their personal power and gain control of their life. To learn more, click here to sign up for my newsletter or visit the links below to read more about personal power and life purpose.
READ MORE ABOUT YOUR LIFE PURPOSE
by Dr. Heléna Kate | Sep 18, 2017 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Do you know how to revive yourself spiritually? If you are feeling depleted, you might be feeling disconnected and disempowered. Moving on from a state of disconnection and disempowerment is easiest when you have treated yourself well during your times of connection and empowerment. It is simple matter of learning the tricks – like how to revive yourself spiritually – and practicing them, so they are ready to go when you need them.
There are many ways to revive yourself when you are feeling depleted, but taking the spiritual route is one of my favorites. Connecting with your spirituality allows you to quickly access a strong, internal power source and bring your focus to what is most important for you. Strengthening this direct line to your inner core is a great way to decrease your “revival time” when you are feeling depleted.
It is important to remember that spirituality is a process more than a goal. Sometimes, even if you know how to revive yourself spirituality, the reality of feeling totally depleted and overwhelmed can make it hard to put this into action. If you find yourself in such a situation, try these easy steps to revive yourself spiritually, even when you’re feeling totally depleted.
Pause: Even on the day-to-day, it is virtually impossible to connect in a deeper way when each moment is filled with activity or our minds are filled with constant clutter. When we become really depleted, this activity and clutter can become so overwhelming that we become unable to make good decisions. The best thing we can do is hit the pause button. If you are doing too much – stop. Take a day, an hour, or even 5 minutes off. The longer the better. If your mind is racing – stop. Use prayer, meditation, or even self-hypnosis to give yourself a break from yourself. P.S. Do yourself the favor of not believing the lie that you “can’t afford to pause.”
Breathe: It has been scientifically proven that changing our breathing helps us relax. Relaxation –the movement out of our usual readiness for fight or flight—is essential to our having higher level experiences, such as spiritual ones. By remembering our breath, we are that much more likely to benefit from the pauses that we take. Yogic practices show us that we can use the breath to move energy and open certain centers of the body. This can help us reconnect with our spiritual sense of things, opening our access to this internal power source.
Do something small: It can seem like a drop in the bucket, but if we are longing for spiritual connection, we benefit from doing something right in that moment. Too often we get preoccupied with chasing larger spiritual experiences and forget that every little thing we do is helpful. Put up a picture that reminds you of your spiritual connection, say a quick prayer, or read something inspiring. It does not matter what it is, but only that you do it. Then keep at it as much as you can. These small efforts compound into large pushes in your spiritual development.
Reconnecting with your spiritual self is a challenge in and of itself, but the work pays off when you know how to revive yourself spiritually, even when you feel completely depleted. By practicing pausing, breathing, and doing something small to connect with your spirituality, you will strengthen this connection, preparing you for a final step:
Start or resume your daily practice: If you are recovering from a period of being off-track or down, the first thing that I recommend that you add back into your life is your daily practice. We’re talking the cornerstone of your spiritual connection. This can be prayer, meditation, attending service, or whatever feels right to you. It is best if you do not make it too long and complicated, especially at first. Try starting with 5 minutes each day. Better to tackle 5 minutes than to plan for 1 hour and not get anything done at all. Little steps are still steps in the right direction!
If you’re struggling with revitalizing yourself spiritually, I can help you. My Personal Breakthrough Intensive is a great way to create total transformation in an area of your life in which you’re feeling stuck. Click here to learn more.
by Dr. Heléna Kate | Sep 11, 2017 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog, Uncategorized
L. O. V. E. Four simple letters that spell a very BIG word. Even the most eloquent of us, from John Keats to Carrie Bradshaw, have stumbled over words as big as LOVE. We’ve all been there, and we’ve all set an intention for love in hopes of avoiding these stumbles. Whether we are entering into new relationships, or refreshing old ones, we have a vision of what they will be. We might want to set the course in a new direction, or bring in someone who does not replicate the problematic situations of previous relationships. Whatever the specifics of our intention for love, it is a focus on what is important to us now and what we want to experience in the future.
Intentionality is an important practice that, with understanding and dedication, can bring beneficial change to our lives. For one thing, intentions take work. We do not just wish things into being. We set an intention, and then we identify and practice the things that will support that intention. For another, it is important to practice intention without attachment. Intention without attachment means creating and holding an intention without becoming attached to a specific manifestation of the outcome of that intention. Setting an intention for love is no different.
What you need to know about setting an intention for love is that you will still stumble in love (or out of it) despite your best intentions, and that’s ok.
No amount of intention for love will save us from seeing what we need to see and learning what we need to learn, through relationship. No matter how awkward or painful, some lessons are only learned through experience. And that’s just the way it is. The best thing you can do is learn how to be more loving with yourself and others so that, whether or not your intention for love manifests, you can be in relationship with clarity, understanding, and conviction.
If you are ready to open yourself up to bring love into your life, you should be happy and proud of your assuredness in doing so. Know that Love is a journey, not a destination, and use these reminders to help you set your intention for love.
REMINDERS FOR SETTING POSITIVE INTENTIONS FOR LOVE
Be clear: I can’t tell you how many people I have heard say, “I made a list of exactly what I wanted in a partner and I met him/her! It is uncanny how he/she is everything on the list.” It is true that if you are clear about what you want, you will find it. So, go ahead! Make your list, and make sure it includes everything you can think of that you want.
Open to more: The flip-side to the list exercise is the reality that we don’t know what we don’t know. Your most detailed list of the traits you know you want in a partner won’t include the traits you didn’t think of – which might be wonderful – or the traits you’ve never encountered – which might be challenging. We want to be open to what is in our highest and best interest, regardless of whether we are consciously aware of it or not.
Hold onto the feeling:The best way to stay on track with an intention is to connect with the feeling that is associated with this intention. By connecting and reconnecting with this feeling, we are strengthening our process and intensifying our result. If we become doubtful or hopeless, it is this feeling that will help us stay the course.
Get rid of the baggage: It is hard to get something you do not feel like you deserve. If you have unresolved emotions or negative beliefs that are holding you back from being free and clear to get what you want, I suggest you do what is necessary to get them out of the way. A Breakthrough session with me can be helpful in this regard. However, you want to pay attention to when and where negative emotions and beliefs show up after you set your intention. This will help you open and receive what you truly want.
Remain unattached: To get what you really want you can’t get sidetracked by everything that is almost what you want. This means that when presented with an option that falls short, you acknowledge the shortcoming and let it go, holding your intention for what you truly want. It also means that when something comes your way, you both accept that it might be what you are truly looking for and give it the space and time to be what it truly is.
Learn to receive: We can be as intentional as we can be, but unless we learn to receive, our intention will not come to fruition. Receiving is an art that can be practiced. If you think that you might be challenged in this area, then start small. Start receiving compliments, gifts, and well-wishes as completely as you can. This practice will help you get more of whatever you want in your life, including love.
I help people set positive intentions for their life and achieve them. To learn more, click here to sign up for my newsletter or click here to learn more about my programs.
by Dr. Heléna Kate | Aug 28, 2017 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
It is one thing to feel a sense of personal power when things are going well for you, but it is when you know how to keep personal power during traumatic life events that you are able to surf the ups and downs of life with more grace and ease. Being able to do this is actually a type of maturity. Learning the skills associated with how to keep personal power under any circumstances is both grounding and liberating.
When we face any kind of trauma in our lives –the loss of a loved one, an illness, a major setback, etc. -we experience intense emotions associated with the events. This might be grief or anger. These heavy negative emotions are a normal and healthy part of the traumatic event, but, over time, can begin to warp our perspective and impact our ability to move forward. It is necessary to feel and honor these emotions as well as connect to a deeper sense of personal truth and faith.
The question then becomes about both – how to keep personal power and emotionally experience our trauma
Emotions associated with traumatic events need time, space, and holding. We can recognize that they come in waves. That we need to be willing to sit with them, or thrash with them, or whatever else, depending on the requirements. That we need to make sure to give them the time they need to be felt and honored and to run their course.
We benefit from putting ourselves in situations and around people who can be with us and our emotional experience, so that we do not run the risk of re-wounding ourselves. This support helps us avoid the pitfalls of a lonesome mind that might convince us that we are alone or unlovable because of how we are feeling. We also benefit from recognizing when the emotional process needs to come to a close and allowing ourselves to rise up again.
Regardless of what is going on in our emotional process, we are in a simultaneous process of the further refinement of our personal power. The two are not separate. They are intended to influence each other. However, we often get stuck in the emotional processing and fail to see the opportunities for growth and power that are inherent in the circumstances we are facing. We lose contact with our own sense of personal power.
To access our personal power we need to begin to believe that all events in life are conspiring to bring us home to ourselves. That, regardless of circumstances, our own heart and truth is able to be revealed to us. That we can take deliberate action to move towards what we most deeply want.
How to keep personal power, strengthen your power, and live from it
Clarify how we want to feel: When all is said and done, what matters more than outcomes is how we feel before and after we achieve those outcomes. By figuring out how you want to feel on a day-to-day – or even situational – basis, we deepen our personal power in our life.
Envision what we want to create: While how we feel in the now is of infinite importance, it is still helpful to know what we are moving towards. This does not mean that we need to be ready to take action to move ourselves in that direction (we may or may not be). Just knowing where we are headed is often enough. This shows us that our circumstance is temporary and a larger unfolding is imminent.
Foster these states: To fully claim our personal power, we can foster the states of being that support our intended outcome, or take action in that direction. These actions give us a sense of agency in our lives. The results of our efforts teach us about how much power we have to create what we want in our lives.
Pay attention to where we are going: There are numerous signs along the road of life. When we start to pay attention to what is going on around us, when we begin to move in the direction of what feels good to us, when we claim the things that align with our vision based on these signs… we remember that life is on our side and that, no matter the current challenge, we can find our way to something better.
Are you looking for a way to let go of the heavy emotional baggage of trauma and step into your path?
The Group Healing Intensive is designed to help you accomplish, in one weekend, the amount of personal transformational work that would take years of traditional therapy to accomplish.
To learn more about this opportunity and how it might be right for you, CLICK HERE.
by Dr. Heléna Kate | Aug 21, 2017 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
If you are craving more meaning and a deeper sense of connection in your life, you will be aided by learning how to find your inner truth. Your inner truth is the part of you that knows what you truly need. It is the part of you that holds the deepest expression of who you are and is unconcerned with your personal egoic needs. While we talk about “how to find your inner truth,” your truth is never truly lost. More so, it is disconnected. When we talk about how to find your inner truth, we are talking about how to look and move within yourself and reconnect with that core source of you. Here are five steps to get you started:
How to Find Your Inner Truth: 5 Steps
Notice how you feel: One of the most important indicators of your inner truth is how you feel. How you feel helps you know what is true for you, what you are drawn to, and what decisions to make. To do this you need to know the difference between different types of emotion. Many people live in connection with their reactive emotions. These emotions are predominantly the result of prior experiences. While they inform us, they do not necessarily help with clarifying our inner truth. However once we clear these emotions, we get access to a deeper level of feeling that can help us know when and how to act as well as what is right for us.
Notice your affinities: Our deeper feelings help us see where there is resonance and alignment. Resonance and alignment help us see our affinities –what is it we truly like, love, and want in our lives. This builds off the concept that like attracts like. Who we are is also what we seek. We learn and grow in both knowing and living our own inner truth by recognizing where we have affinities and taking action to strengthen those relationships.
Express yourself: Keeping our truth to ourselves blocks us from knowing it more and being able to refine it. Conversely learning to express ourselves in the myriad of ways that life allows helps us know and develop our inner truth. Sometimes, as a result of the expression, we come up against opposition. This opposition serves as a further refinement of our inner truth. It helps us get even more clear about what we are all about and how we want to bring that to the world.
Listen to your heart: Whether you are noticing your emotions, your affinities, or the feedback to your personal expression, your heart is your guide to how to find your inner truth. The way your heart opens, closes, and feels helps you understand, in the most intimate way possible, what is true for you. When in doubt, tune into your heart and – no matter how far you have strayed – it will lead you back to what is most true for you.
Risk getting it wrong: There is no way to go through this process and get it right every time. Living your inner truth requires the humility to get it wrong and to try again. It is through this process – and only with this process – that we can truly uncover our own inner truth and learn to live it through the world. So, fail beautifully! And then do it again and again, and before you know it wonderful things will emerge.
If you\’re ready to bust past your current challenges and unlock more of your inner truth, Dr. Kate\’s Personal Breakthrough Intensive will be a great fit for you.
You’ll use extensively researched and highly effective emotional and mental release techniques, combined with values work and strategic planning, to root out your limiting obstacles and eliminate them.
Create space for your growth! CLICK HERE to learn more.
