by Dr. Heléna Kate | Oct 19, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Well at this point I have been around. I have been part of the therapeutic community, part of the business coaching community, part of the academic community, women\’s communities and spiritual communities.
No matter where I go, I notice that there is a group of people who are thinking out of the box and wanting more for their lives, their work, and the world. Whatever group they are part of, they do not \”drink the KoolAid\”. They are thoughtful, considerate, creative and unwilling to settle for just a small part of what they want.
These are my people. If you relate to the above, I want to tell you that it is great to be on this journey with you.
You know that there are a lot of people out there who do not care whether what they do has a positive or a negative impact on the world around them, they really just care about making money. But, if you are reading this, you are not one of them.
My work has always been for people who are looking for the essential information that they need to grow their business, but a business that adds richness to their life in more ways than just monetarily. A business that adds some value to the world.
If you boil it all down:
Purposeful Profit = Lifestyle + Impact
Lifestyle is the way you want to live. It covers how you spend your time AND your money. It determines how much of either of those you want to have. How you feel as you go about your day. What and who you are surrounded by.
Impact is the way you want to interact with the world around you. The ways you would like to make the world a better place by having lived. When you create your business, you want to create a profitable business, otherwise there would be little reason to create a business at all. However it is just as important as you move through live to think about the PURPOSE behind your life and your business.
Because if you are driven by a sense of purpose nothing else is going to leave you feeling more fulfilled than achieving that purpose. And all the money in the world will not make up for that.
Want to learn more about this? My Power Purpose Profit eBook is a workbook that will guide you through turning your desire for impact into a business and lifestyle that you can start LIVING instead of just dreaming about. Purchase it here.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Oct 16, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
For today\’s aspiring entrepreneur, exploring avenues of creativity to find your passion is likely the quickest route to increase your chances of launching a successful business. Where to start? Here, five exercises to help you uncover your passion.
Exercise 1 – Revisit your childhood. What did you love to do? \”It\’s amazing how disconnected we become to the things that brought us the most joy in favor of what\’s practical,\” says Rob Levit, an Annapolis, Md.-based creativity expert, speaker and business consultant.
Levit suggests making a list of all the things you remember enjoying as a child. Would you enjoy that activity now? For example, Frank Lloyd Wright, America\’s greatest architect, played with wooden blocks all through childhood and perhaps well past it.
\”Research shows that there is much to be discovered in play, even as adults,\” Levit says.
Revisit some of the positive activities, foods and events of childhood. Levit suggests asking yourself these questions to get started: What can be translated and added into your life now? How can those past experiences shape your career choices now?
Exercise 2 – Make a \”creativity board.\” Start by taking a large poster board, put the words \”New Business\” in the center and create a collage of images, sayings, articles, poems and other inspirations, suggests Michael Michalko, a creativity expert based in Rochester, N.Y., and Naples, Fla., and author of creativity books and tools, including ThinkPak (Ten Speed Press, 2006).
\”The idea behind this is that when you surround yourself with images of your intention — who you want to become or what you want to create — your awareness and passion will grow,\” Michalko says. As your board evolves and becomes more focused, you will begin to recognize what is missing and imagine ways to fill the blanks and realize your vision.
Exercise 3 – Make a list of people who are where you want to be. You don\’t have to reinvent the wheel. Study people who have been successful in the area you want to pursue.
For example, during the recession, many people shied away from the real estate market because they thought it was a dead end. Levit believes that\’s the perfect time to jump in — when most others are bailing out — because no matter the business, there are people who are successful in it. Study them, figure out how and why they are able to remain successful when everyone else is folding and then set up structures to emulate them.
\”If you want to be creative, create a rigorous and formal plan,\” Levit says. \”It\’s not the plan that is creative; it\’s the process that you go through that opens up so many possibilities.\”
Exercise 4 – Start doing what you love, even without a business plan A lot of people wait until they have an extensive business plan written down, along with angel investors wanting to throw cash at them — and their ideas never see the light of day, according to Cath Duncan, a Calgary, Canada-based creativity expert and life coach who works with entrepreneurs and other professionals.
She recommends doing what you enjoy — even if you haven\’t yet figured out how to monetize it. Test what it might be like to work in an area you\’re passionate about, build your business network and ask for feedback that will help you develop and refine a business plan.
It\’s a way to not only show the value you would bring, but you can also get testimonials that will help launch your business when you\’re ready to make it official.
\”Perhaps most importantly, though, it\’ll shift you out of paralysis and fear,\” Cath says, \”and the joy of seeing the difference your contribution makes will fuel your creativity.\”
Exercise 5 – Take a break from business thinking. While it might feel uncomfortable to step outside of business mode, the mind sometimes needs a rest from such bottom-line thinking, says Levit, who has recently taken up Japanese haiku, a form of poetry. Maybe for you, it will be creative writing, painting, running or even gardening.
After you take a mental vacation indulging in something you\’re passionate about, Levit suggests coming back to a journal and writing down any business ideas that come to mind.
\”You\’ll be amazed at how refreshed your ideas are,\” he says. \”Looking at beautiful things – art and nature – creates connections that we often neglect to notice. Notice them capture, them in writing and use them.\”
reblogged from Entreprenuer.com
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Oct 14, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Courage is something that everybody wants — an attribute of good character that makes us worthy of respect. From the Bible to fairy tales; ancient myths to Hollywood movies,our culture is rich with exemplary tales of bravery and self-sacrifice for the greater good.
From the cowardly lion in The Wizard of Oz who finds the courage to face the witch, to David battling Goliath in the Bible, to Star Wars and Harry Potter, children are raised on a diet of heroic and inspirational tales.
Yet courage is not just physical bravery. History books tell colorful tales of social activists, such as Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela, who chose to speak out against injustice at great personal risk. Entrepreneurs such as Steve Jobs and Walt Disney, who took financial risks to follow their dreams and innovate are like modern-day knights, exemplifying the rewards and public accolades that courage can bring. There are different types of courage, ranging from physical strength and endurance to mental stamina and innovation.
Here is a list of 6 ways we can show courage.
- 1. Feeling Fear Yet Choosing to Act
- 2. Following Your Heart
- 3. Persevering in the Face of Adversity
- 4. Standing Up For What Is Right
- 5. Expanding Your Horizons; Letting Go of the Familiar
- 6. Facing Suffering With Dignity
Courage-Building Exercise
For this exercise, you will need a notebook and pen, as well as a quiet, uninterrupted space in which you can reflect.
Beginning with the first definition of courage, \”Feeling Afraid Yet Choosing to Act,\” answer the following questions: Think of a situation as an adult when you felt afraid, yet chose to face your fear?
(a) What did you observe, think, and feel at the time? (e.g., \”I saw the rollercoaster and felt butterflies in my stomach\”).
(b) What did you or the people around you say, think, and do to help you face your fear? (e.g., \”I told myself that if little kids could go on it, so could I\”).
(c) At what point did your fear start to go down? How did you feel afterwards?
(d) Now think back on a situation in childhood in which you faced your fear. How was it the same or different than the first situation?
(e) Finally, think of a situation you are currently facing that creates fear or anxiety. What are you most afraid of? (e.g., being fired if I ask my boss for a raise).
(f) Now, is there a way to apply the same skills you used in the two earlier situations to be more courageous this situation. Remind yourself that you have these skills and have used them successfully in the past. What mental or environmental barriers stand in the way of using these skills? How can you cope with or get rid of these barriers?
Repeat this exercise over the course of a week, using each definition of courage above. On Day 7, come up with your own definition of courage that is most meaningful to you and repeat the whole exercise using this definition.
Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D. is a Clinical Psychologist in Mill Valley, California, and expert on Mindfulness, Positive Psychology, and Mind-Body issues , who has published more than 50 scholarly works. Previously a Professor in a Graduate Psychology Program, she is now a practicing psychologist, executive and life coach, speaker, and media consultant.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Oct 12, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
I was asked by a client of mine, “If you had one year to live what would you do?”
I thought about this for a bit. I could not think of anything that I would change. It is not that I don’t want to do things more than I have already but there is nothing that I have not done to some degree –enough to be content.
I even questioned myself about it, “Can that even be true?” But still I felt like I would wake up and keep living the way that I have been living.
But then it came to me: I would eat more ice cream!
No but seriously, there have been times when I asked myself this question and the answers I got were not so light-hearted.
I am an independent and individualistic person. And still, I have woken up some days to realize that I bought some way of doing things in my life that is not right for me but I chose because I either did not know enough to make my own choice or because I was concerned that the way that I wanted to do it was the wrong way.
Point is, this is going to happen so matter who you are and how focused you are on your fulfillment. We all get off track from time to time and it is part of the process of learning and growing to try different things and have some of them fit and some of them not.
However, to make sure that we create the lives we really want, we need to continuously check in with ourselves about a few things:
1. Know yourself. Take time for inward reflection so that you know what you are feeling and are clear on the actions. This is vital for creating self knowledge and a life that really works for you.
2. Evaluate your life on a regular basis. We need to take time to take stock of our lives. What areas of your life might you be neglecting?
3. Do a regular house cleaning. Pay attention to what is dragging you down or outdated and clear it out. I mean this both literally and internally.
4. Focus on what you want. To really have the life that you want you need to spend time actively attending to what you want to create.
Having the life that you know is yours to create takes a little bit of work but the rewards far outweigh the effort.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Oct 9, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Last weekend I went to see my son at college. It was great. There is nothing like a bunch of 18 year olds to get you to reflect about what has changed over the decades and what has not.
As I was talking to him and his friends, I remembered driving cross country in my Ford escort, wondering what the heck I was going to do with myself, and simultaneously feeling free and terrified.
Whenever we start out on something new, we need to take risks (think old ford escort!). Doing something new implies that there are unknowns and we likely feel both exhilarated and terrified in the face of that.
And if we keep fully living, the situations change, the way we relate to them might change but these feelings are pretty consistent.
However, it can be easy to get a bit apathetic in our lives. It can sneak up on us so quickly.
We stop looking at how we can enjoy life more, how we can find a new challenge, or learn something new. Days can start to blend into each other in a type of sameness.
And, sometimes we can even feel grateful for this –for sameness and not for stress.
There is a beauty in the quiet times. However, we sometimes confuse this comfort with having it made. Then we can become attached to it and have a hard time accepting when it is no longer working for us. When it is time to leave some things behind and head out to parts unknown.
So my question for you this week is: When was the last time you felt as excited about something as when you were a teenager and trying so many things for the first time?
If it has not happened in a long time, what might you dream up that leaves you feeling really excited and maybe even a little terrified?
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Oct 7, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Do you feel lost or as if something is missing in your life? Maybe you want to make a bigger difference in the world than you feel you are, but you aren\’t sure how. So many of us walk through life, feeling numb and desperate for a deeper connection, but aren\’t sure how to get it.
The two greatest days of your life are the day you were born, and the day you find out what your purpose is, but if you don\’t know what your purpose is than you don\’t know why you are here, and it can be hard to keep going.
I know this feeling all too well. I used to suffer immense inner turmoil while trying hard to find my purpose. I was in a job I hated, working in advertising under fluorescent lights, and suffocating from the stale corporate air. I saw people like Beyoncé and Justin Timberlake shine so brightly when they performed. I wanted what they had, infectious passion, a thirsty love for life and an unyielding connection to their work.
I struggled daily to figure out my purpose, but it wasn\’t until I took a step back and realized that my purpose isn\’t \”figure-outable\” from my head that I found a way to get there. I thought to myself, \”Maybe the problem isn\’t that I don\’t know what my purpose is; the problem is the way I am trying to find my purpose.\”
We can\’t think our way into our life\’s passion and purpose, we have to do our way in. This means taking steps towards what you want, and removing those things in your life that you don\’t want. I left my successful corporate job on a mission to find my happy, and it came by taking one step at a time and exploring many different passions. If you are looking for your purpose and passion, stop looking and start doing. These steps will help you.
How to Find Your Purpose and Passion
1. Get More Action
You can\’t think your way into finding your life purpose; you have to do your way into it. Take a mental note from Nike and Just Do It. The more we act, the more we get clear on things. So instead of overthinking it — Will this work out? Should I try that? What if I don\’t like it? What if I don\’t make money at it? Start taking steps toward your goals and start trying new things. This will help you get out of your own way. I struggled for years trying to find out what my purpose was. This cycle only created a deeper lack of clarity. It wasn\’t until I started doing that things changed for me. I began writing, and sent a story to Chicken Soup for the Soul. The second I received the letter of acceptance was unlike any ever before, love flooded into my heart and I knew that this was what I had to do with my life. You see though, I had to start writing to learn that my biggest passion was indeed writing. That only came with consistent action.
The experience is the reward; clarity comes through the process of exploring. Action is where you get results.
2. Drop From Your Head to Your Heart
Your heart is your best tool to access your true purpose and passion. Ask yourself what you love? Start taking steps to do what you love. When you are inspired and connected to your happy self, inspiration floods your heart and soul. When you lead from your heart, you are naturally more joyful and motivated to explore. By doing what you love, you will be inspired and gain insights into what brings you the most joy.
3. Break Up with The \”ONE\”
Many of us struggle because we try to find that ONE thing that we are meant to do; but trying to find only one thing is the reason why we feel like something is missing. The notion that we have only one thing we are meant for limits us from fulfilling our greatness. Take me for example; I have six different job titles. I\’m a life coach, travel writer, author, speaker, teacher, mentor, designer, and each thing I do brings me joy, but none of these are my purpose, they are my passions. So start getting in touch with your passions! When you lead a passionate life you are living your life on purpose.
Let go of thinking there is only one purpose for you and embrace the idea that our purpose in life is to love life fully by putting ourselves into our life! This means we jump in and try new things; we stop resisting the unknown and we fully engage in what is happening right here, where we are. To lead a purposeful life, follow your passions. When we live a passion-filled life we are living on purpose, and that is the purpose of life.
That feeling that something is missing goes away when you lead a passion-filled life. The need to seek our purpose comes from a lack of passion. When you don\’t feel connected to your life, you lack purpose and passion. To fix this emptiness simply add more passion. To boil it down, remember this simple equation:
Passion + Daily Action = Purposeful Life
Consider that the real purpose of anyone\’s life is to be fully involved in living. Try to be present for the journey and fully embrace it. Soon you will be oozing with passion, and you will feel so purposeful and fulfilled you will wonder how you lived life without it. Enjoy the journey into your own awesome life.
Shannon Kaiseris a best-selling author, coach and travel writer.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Oct 5, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Have you ever had the experience of finding yourself on a new path in life and suddenly you feel like you’re all alone? You’ve just stepped into a new version of yourself. You’re becoming more aware and you’re paying closer attention to the choices you’re making. Things that used to be your ‘norm’ no longer interest you, and creative ideas are manifesting more easily. You’re exploring new paradigms and experiencing next-level shifts. AND you’re probably feeling more inspired and alive than ever before.
Welcome to the Next Phase of Your Journey
This is just the beginning. As you progressively begin to rely less on purely logical levels of thinking, and shift toward trusting your inner sense of what feels right, you’ll experience greater clarity and a deeper knowingness. From that knowingness, a driving desire is born to explore whatever it is that you’re being drawn toward.
As you follow the breadcrumbs of internal guidance, you’ll find yourself taking action and making different choices. You may start to revel in awe at how your perception and life experience is changing. The energy builds on that and we keep moving in this newfound seemingly directionless direction. But …
But Wait! Where Did Everyone Go?!?!
It\’s often at this juncture that those new to the path encounter some emotional turbulence. This is a natural part of the integration process; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. As your strides turn into quantum leaps, it can become challenging for others in your life to hang on. As a result, there are a few common things that tend to show up…
Sometimes the people in your life will start to tease and poke fun at your new path. Their joking may seem light-hearted, yet to the new trailblazer it may stir up some confusion, sadness, or anger. I mean, “Why can’t they just be happy for me?” It may not mean they don’t want to be supportive of the newfangled you; it could mean that they don’t know how to be supportive. This is new territory for them as well.
Another common occurrence is the realization that the people we were previously associating with aren’t ready to make the leap, so they start to fall away. At first you may perceive this as being a negative experience. “I’m losing all my friends! What is happening here? I’m becoming a better person and now nobody gets me.” (sad face) This can create feelings of emptiness, which may lead to more solitude. It\’s in this solitude that you lean more into that which is calling to you on a soul level, and you find some comfort there.
Here are a few tips for helping you to set your trajectory and maintain your momentum as if your life depends on it. Because it does.
5 Tips to Help You Through the Transition
- Intend clear passage. This is your path. What is right for you is what is right for YOU. We’ve all heard that perception is projection and that we create our reality. That which you go looking for, you are apt to find. That being said, set the intention for clarity of purpose and purity of heart as you journey ever more deeply into that which you seek.
- Listen to your inner guidance. Practice trusting your inner guidance and the art of detachment to outcome. Let go of specific ideas of how you, others, or the end result should look, sound, or feel like. The Universe rarely delivers in precisely the way we are imagining things. In some cases this is an incredible gift. Bottom line: be on the lookout for signs that you’re on the right track. You’ll recognize them when you feel yourself light up with excitement.
- Tend to mindfulness-based practices. Establish your Sadhana, a Sanskrit word that translates into a spiritual discipline undertaken in the pursuit of a goal. Eat food that is alive and nutrient-rich, exercise daily, take time for stillness and silence, acknowledge and be present with your emotions, choose your words carefully, and get lots of fresh air, clean water, and rest.
- Surround yourself with positive, successful people. It’s been said that we take on the qualities of the five people we spend the most time with. Be selective of who you are surrounding yourself with and make it a point to be connected with those who inspire you to keep learning, growing, and evolving. Anything less simply has to go!
- Don’t give up! There is nothing simple and easy about pioneering a new path. Personal development is tough work, but it’s also exhilarating and fulfilling work. In fact, it’s your only work. As someone who has charted my own course through both torrential downpour and golden sunsets, I can say for certain that, had I chosen the path of least resistance, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
Now go out there and shine. Really shine! I’m rooting for you.
reblogged from Chopra Centered LifeStyle
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Oct 2, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Recently I was having a conversation with one of my daughters about what it takes to get ahead in life. It was a deep conversation, that as parents we are sometimes lucky enough to have with our children. After the conversation I found myself thinking about what it takes to get ahead in life and in business.
I suspect most of you would agree that hard work, commitment and a dedication to excellence are requirements. And sometimes a little luck comes our way as well…never a bad thing. But what I believe is that we also need to leverage who we know and learn not to go it alone. Strong statement when we taught that asking for help somehow demonstrates weakness and that using your connections to open doors is likened to being in the mob.
But we don’t have to go it alone or ignore those around us that we know can help us. Let’s be honest, having someone you know make an introduction for you can be incredibly helpful. If your friend, partner or colleague can introduce you to someone that forwards your career or provides opportunities you would not have otherwise isn’t that a good thing? You don’t have to fear that you are getting something for nothing or something you don’t deserve. While someone may make an introduction or put your resume at the top of the pile, only you can demonstrate your value and move the ball forward.
I want to give you a couple of personal examples to demonstrate my point. Many years ago one of my daughters wanted an internship with the CIA. We have a close friend who at that time held a very senior position at the CIA. He took my daughter’s resume to those involved with internships. She did get the internship and before she left that summer they had offered her a full time job after college. Did this friend secure the internship for her? Not likely. What I suspect is that when it came down to a couple of applicants who looked similar in education, background etc. his recommendation pushed her to the top of the pile. She however earned her job offer during her internship.
A year ago I conducted a sales training workshop for an organization. I met the president of the company at a conference I attended with my husband many years ago. Did I get the opportunity to conduct the workshop because of my husband? Only in the sense that I would not have met him had I not attended the conference. I earned the work however through my own efforts of follow-up, conversations and offering value even when there wasn’t a direct benefit to me. The referrals he has sent my way I earned because of a job well done.
The point is don’t be afraid to ask others to help you by making introductions or contacting someone on your behalf. We live and work in communities and meet hundreds of people throughout our life that would be honored to help us. All we have to do is ask. Next time you think someone can help you in some way ask them. The likelihood is you are giving them a gift as people truly want to help.
reblogged from the Incendo Group blog.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Sep 29, 2014 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
When I was in grade school, I was well, um, different. I am not sure what else to say about it. I was not a total geek –well, i\’m at least fairly sure I wasn\’t. lol!
I just didn\’t have that one thing that I was “all about.” And, I was much to non-conformist to really hang tight with the popular crowd.
I can remember thinking over and over, “Why are we doing this? It seems so stupid.” when it came to the social cliques. However, it sure did not seem like anyone around me was asking those questions, or if they were, they were keeping it to themselves.
Anyway, the questioning has persisted through to adulthood. It is still just too easy for me to ask the question, “Why?” And along the way, I have learned that this can be an amazingly powerful question.
The more you are caught up in the rat race the harder it is to ask the question \”Why?\”. You just don’t have enough time. That is why the question why is favored by children and philosophers – those with time enough to ponder rather then just act.
As Allen Watts says, “a philosopher is nothing more than a yokel who walks around staring at things that other people think are totally commonplace.”
Well let’s take a page from his book for a minute.
I have written a lot about what I think is important and the power of caring more but why are we doing this? I am not even just talking about your work. I want you to ask this about your whole life.
When was the last time you asked yourself \”Why have I chosen the life that I have?\”
And then take it one step further, what is the BIG point? Why are you here? Why are you conscious and aware? And, why do you choose to stay that way, become more so, or even become less so?
If you can’t answer these questions with an answer, and an answer that you feel proud of, then I can bet you that you are not as happy or as successful as you would like to be.
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | Sep 23, 2014 | Uncategorized
Growing up I often heard the phrase “You shouldn’t care so much.”
Derivatives of this idea included: So what if they’re talking about you. Who cares what they think? He’s a jerk; why do you care about him? You’re your own person; why do you care about what she’s doing?
I associated the word “care” with stress, because in all these instances, caring meant feeling bad.
It meant being overly worried about someone’s opinion of me, or feeling for someone who didn’t feel for me, or thinking someone was somehow better than me.
I frequently responded, “What kind of person would I be if I didn’t care?”
I also argued that not caring could be a limiting choice.
Sometimes someone else’s criticism contains a valuable lesson. Sometimes someone who seems like a jerk really needs someone to take a chance on him (or her). Sometimes someone else’s choices help us illuminate the path we really want to take.
If we decide to stop caring in all instances that might push and challenge us, we risk closing ourselves off to insights, relationships, and ideas that could change our lives for the better—and potentially do the same for others.
I’ve since realized that the real message isn’t to stop caring, but instead to recognize how we care and why so that we don’t give our power away.
Sometimes we care with love; sometimes we care with fear. Sometimes we care with self-respect; sometimes we care with self-contempt. Sometimes we care with a sense of possibility; sometimes we care with fears of inferiority.
The important thing is that we don’t let caring about people or circumstances detract from our ability to care for ourselves.
A friend of mine recently told me she’s stopped caring about what people expect of her. Knowing that she values those relationships, I concluded that she really meant she stopped stressing about how well she met their expectations.
She essentially decided to stop worrying about things outside her control, and focus instead on all the things that were within her power.
That’s what it means to care for ourselves: to do our best and celebrate that, even as we keep learning and growing.
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha and the author of the Tiny Wisdom eBook series, Tiny Buddha\’s Guide to Loving Yourself, and Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life\’s Hard Questions.
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