by Dr. Heléna Kate | Jun 15, 2016 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Day-in and day-out, I talk to people who want to find their life purpose.
I make a point to pay close attention to what my clients, associates and colleagues say as they describe the purpose-driven life they seek to live. As I see it, my job is not simply to respond to what I hear, but rather to figure out how I can help those around me get what they really need to feel happier, healthier and more successful.
When people talk about finding their purpose they often also talk about identifying their passion. They want to have a sense of meaning in their life. They want to make a contribution.
I go into great detail on what life purpose is REALLY all about and how to FULLY LIVE a purpose-driven life in my Morning Mindset series, LIFE PURPOSE. So, if you’re in the midst of finding your life purpose, this series is for you! Sign up here.
Myth #1 Your Life Purpose is Your Vocation
This is one of the mistaken ideas that I tackle first when I talk to someone who wants to find their life purpose. Why is this myth about life purpose so pervasive? I think it’s because we live in an increasingly work-centric society that doesn’t teach us that there is a difference between our life purpose and our work. They are, in fact, two totally distinct things.
Truth be told, it’s absolutely possible to integrate your life purpose into your work. HOWEVER, when people feel stuck and struggle to identify their purpose it’s often because they’ve come to think of their career as the place in which they’ll find their purpose. Or, it’s the reverse. In this scenario, people try to find their life purpose through the process of developing their career and meet with tremendous frustration. Either way it just does not work.
Solution #1: Ask yourself: “Am I trying to trying to figure out my life purpose or my next career move?” Allow yourself the space to see your life purpose and your career as separate things.
Myth #2 Your Life Purpose Can Only Be One Thing
Because people often conflate their career with their life purpose, they often think that their purpose is one specific thing.
As kids, when we’re asked what we want to be when we grow up, we tend to say things like: “I want to be a fireman” or “I want to be a ballerina.” As adults, when we think about life-purpose, we mistakenly hyper-focus on a single outcome the same way we did when we were young. But this is not how things really work. Instead, once you begin to feel into what a purpose-driven life might look like, a number of options often emerge and many of them will be equally satisfying.
Solution #2 Don’t try and narrow things down too soon. Ask yourself why an idea appeals to you rather than if it’s the right idea or not.
Myth #3 You Must Find Your Life Purpose Before You Start Living It
Our life purpose is intimately connected to what we love most. This means that when we start doing what we love we take our first steps along the path towards our purpose. This also means that we don’t need to wait to live a purpose-driven life. All we need to do is to determine what we love and do it as often as possible.
Solution #3 Do what you love to do. Discover more things you love to do. And make time to reflect.
Myth #4 Only a Fortunate Few Live Their Life Purpose
This is a tricky myth. On the one hand, a fortunate few actually do have a career that successfully integrates their life purpose. On the other hand, I’m not sure if these people are particularly fortunate. It can be overwhelming to tie up your livelihood so closely to your passion.
When we recognize that our life purpose is a combination of what we most care about, what we love to do, and what we value, it becomes clear that we always have the option to live our life purpose. It’s not necessary to fit our purpose into our career. Rather, it’s necessary that we fit our purpose into our lives.
Solution #4 Figure out what you care most about, what you love most to do, and what you value the most and proceed from there.
Myth #5 You Should Be Able to Figure It Out On Your Own
It seems like common sense that WE ALONE should be able to figure out our life purpose. Right? It’s ours after all.
But, sometimes we have a difficult time seeing it BECAUSE it’s so closely connected to who we are. When people come to me looking to find their life purpose, I often give them a series of exercises. I ask them to answer a set of questions and I tell them not to spend much time worrying about the answers. Instead, I prompt them to write out the first thing that comes to their mind and send me what they wrote. When I reflect back my synthesis of my clients answers, a funny thing happens. More often than not clients have an Eureka moment where they finally see what their purpose is all about.
Solution #5 Find the support you need! Sometimes you need outside eyes to see to help you see within yourself.
So, if you’ve been coming up empty as you look for your life purpose, it’s time to de-mystify your thinking and try on these solutions. Most important, though, is to start with what you LOVE.
Want a step-by-step guide to find and live your life purpose? My Morning Mindset Life Purpose is an inspirational daily video series that delivers tips, insights and exercises straight to your inbox for three weeks. Morning Mindset will help you step-in your purpose and live your life to its fullest. Learn more here!
by Dr. Heléna Kate | Jun 9, 2016 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Life purpose is a big topic of conversation in the world of personal development. Lots of people want to live a purpose driven life, yet all too often these same people struggle to define what their purpose is and how to go about living it.
While life purpose is commonly thought of as fate or destiny, I prefer to think of it as the expression of your whole self. In other words, it\’s less important that you know it and more important that you are it.
In my Make It Happen Guide, I write, “Whatever you want or dream of you can have. It\’s already in you. You\’re the one you\’ve been waiting for.\”
People tend to make the mistake of looking for their life purpose outside themselves.This search ultimately leads to a perpetual feeling of disconnection.
The more outward you look for your purpose, the further away from it you feel. This is because your quest for it is built on the false belief that your purpose is something beyond yourself and not a natural expression of who you are.
Living your life purpose requires connecting with the deeper and truer aspect of who you are. If you\’re curious as to how to plug into your purpose, here are my best suggestions.
Pay attention to where you feel connected, excited, passionate, and positive.
These are clues to deeper truths about yourself and your life purpose. The main point here is to do more of what makes you feel good.
Let yourself think \”out of the box\” thoughts.
Sometimes we get stuck because we judge our inclinations as destructive or negative. We say to ourselves, “If I did what I wanted all the time then I would screw up what\’s important to me.” Yet, even negative thoughts or \”out of the box\” ideas can lead us in the right direction. The trick here is to act on these zaney thoughts in a way that honors your values and morals.
Honor your dreams. They are with you for a reason.
Your fantasies provide clues to your deepest desires, and following your desires can profoundly connect you to yourself and your purpose.
Your purpose is not necessarily your vocation.
Though one day you may turn your purpose into your career, to do so kind of misses the point. I suggest to think less about what work you want to do and more about what kind of impact you want to have. This will give you a better sense of how to orient your career and how to align it with your purpose.
Want a step-by-step guide to find and live your life purpose? My Morning Mindset Life Purpose is an inspirational daily video series that delivers tips, insights and exercises straight to your inbox for three weeks. Morning Mindset will help you step-in your purpose and live your life to its fullest. Learn more here!
by Dr. Heléna Kate | May 24, 2016 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
In Greek Mythology, the nine muses are goddesses that rule over the arts and sciences, and are said to bestow inspiration on the subject of their domain. They were considered the source of the knowledge embodied in the poetry, song-lyrics, and myths that were related orally for centuries in ancient cultures.
I think that the muses still have much to teach us about finding meaning and inspiration in our day-to-day lives.
So, for today’s newsletter, I’m going to introduce you to each of the nine muses and point out the place in your life they can offer their inspiration!
Calliope the Muse of Epic Poetry
Calliope can help us find inspiration to create the stories we live by. Calliope is the chief of all muses and this makes sense. How we engage with our world is determined by the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. Calliope can help you write your story, and she’ll help you find meaning in it, too.
Question to ask yourself: If I could create the story that I want to live by, what would it be?
Clio the Muse of History
Clio’s name is derived from the Greek root κλέω – meaning \”to recount,\” \”to make famous,\” or \”to celebrate.” She is known as the “proclaimer, glorifier and celebrator of history, great deeds and accomplishments.” Clio can remind us to learn from the past. Yet, she can also remind us to write the past in a way that serves our present.
Question to ask yourself: How can I remember the past in a way that reveals the fullness of my present potential?
Euterpe the Muse of Music
Euterpe is also known as “the Giver of Delight.” She reminds us to recognize the music and melody of our everyday life. Through Euterpe we see that the commonplace has a beauty and an inspiration to it.
Question to ask yourself: Are your daily rhythms inspiring or are you allowing yourself to be inspired by your daily rhythms?
Erato the Muse of Lyric Poetry
In a famous Greek hymn to the muses, it is Erato that charms the sight. Erato reminds us of how important passion and love are to an inspired and meaningful life. Many of us yearn for passion, but are reticent to weave passion and love into our lives.
Question to ask yourself: Are you letting yourself fall in love each and every day? Are you nurturing your passions?
Melpomene the Muse of Tragedy
Melpomene’s name was derived from the Greek verb melpô meaning \”to celebrate with dance and song.\” Melpomene helps us see that our pain in life opens us to our true potential and a sense of life’s deeper significance. It’s not just the happy moments that create a sense of meaning and fulfillment. Our struggles and tragedies profoundly shape how we know ourselves and what we come to value in our lives.
Question to ask yourself: Have you embraced tragedy as a necessary part of life? Are you expanding or contracting as a result of the pains you experience?
Polyhymnia the Muse of Sacred Hymns and Agriculture
Polyhymnia helps us see the deeper meaning in nature and the natural world. The truth is that the world around you is constantly communicating with you, so it might be time to open your ears and listen.
Question to ask yourself: Have I stopped to listen to what my environment is telling me?
Terpsichore the Muse of Dance
Terpsichore reminds us to dance with life – to bring flow and grace to our life experiences so that we can enjoy more of what life has to offer.
Question to ask yourself: Are you flexible in your approach to life?
Thalia the Muse of Comedy
Thalia teaches us the humor in “it all.” All wisdom contains some humor. And, for our lives to have meaning, we benefit from seeing the humor in our experience.
Question to ask yourself: Do you remember to laugh every day at the wonder and weirdness of life?
Urania the Muse of Astronomy
Urania is often associated with Universal Love and the Holy Spirit. She imparts the insight that life is bigger than we can ever understand. Yet the quest for understanding can bring us great meaning.
Question to ask yourself: What is the spiritual foundation of my life?
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by Dr. Heléna Kate | May 3, 2016 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
Living your purpose is the key to your fulfillment. When you embrace your life purpose, you commit your effort to what you’re best able to do. And this has infinite positive outcomes.
Living your life purpose blossoms a sense of wellness throughout your entire life. You experience true harmony because you’re not emotionally invested in any particular outcome and so you’re better able to make lemonade when life gives you lemons.
Each and every one of us wrestles with a nagging sense of unfulfillment until we understand that it’s in our power to create our happiness and to live our passion.
For example, if I believe my actions and interactions make no impact, then I’ll have a negative perception of my life inside and outside of my workplace. Or, if I perceive myself as a victim in all circumstances ― and feel as though the world sets me up to knock me down ― I will shy away from circumstances that might prove my belief otherwise. Instead, I’ll likely create situations that prove I’m at the world’s mercy. This perspective will leave me blaming others, feeling resentful and stuck.
On the other hand, if I believe that my actions have the potential to make a positive impact, then I’ll feel more positive about my life, more excited by my choices, and – ultimately – more fulfilled and satisfied. Moreover, if I see a situation that is dangerous, negative, or hurtful, I’ll feel it’s possible for me to take action towards a positive outcome. This creates a virtuous cycle. Over time, I’ll see the net effect of my positive actions and will likely find it easier to face challenging circumstances in a positive way. This makes a profound difference in my life and the lives of others.
So, what does this cycle of positive action have to do with Life Purpose? Well, in order to move toward your life purpose, you need to feel as though what you’re doing makes a difference. Otherwise, there is no reason to bother.
Whatever it is that you feel passionately about, you can do it! In fact, you were meant to do it.
Think about yourself in the terms used by Alan Watts: “You are the perfect expression of the universe exactly where you are in this moment.” Or, as Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: “The eye was placed where one ray should fall, that it might testify of that particular ray.”
Since my work is all about helping people achieve a feeling of success and fulfillment in their lives, I’ve made a list of fundamental questions that will help you identify your life purpose! This list will give you a good sense of where to focus your energy as you take your first bold steps towards the life of your dreams.
Passion:
1. Figure out what you love. People are happier when they know what they love.
2. Do it often. Doing what you love makes you feel more fulfilled.
3. Remove things from your life that are mediocre, beige, flat or merely being tolerated. You only have so much time attention and energy don’t waste it on what does not matter.
Courage:
1. Know what is important to you.
2. Know why it is important to you.
3. Because, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” F. Roosevelt
Kindness:
1. Learn to be good to others and do it as much as possible.
2. Learn to be good to yourself and do it as much as possible.
3. Go out of your way everyday to do something especially nice for a total stranger.
Gratitude:
1. Pay attention to all the wonderful things that are a part of your life, both large and small.
2. Thank people for what they bring to your life.
3. Learn to find gratitude even for the things and people that are difficult.
Contemplation:
Forgiveness:
Play:
1. Make time to be creative in ways that please you the most.
2. Laugh as much as possible.
3. Remember that your life is what you dream it to be.
Want a step-by-step guide to find and live your life purpose? My Morning Mindset Life Purpose is an inspirational daily video series that delivers tips, insights and exercises straight to your inbox for three weeks. Morning Mindset will help you step-in your purpose and live your life to its fullest. Learn more here!
by Dr. Heléna Kate | Apr 28, 2016 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog
We all need a break sometimes. When we\’re kids, breaks are given freely during playtime and nap-time. The importance of play to psychological development has received a lot attention as we watch our kids feel the pressure to achieve more and more at a younger and younger age. This pressure, though, extends to us parents, too. By understanding the importance of ritual and play to our identity, we can better recognize when we need a break and what it should look like.
The most normal and competent child encounters what seems like insurmountable problems in living. But by playing them out, in the way he chooses, he may become able to cope with them in a step‑by‑step process. He often does so in symbolic ways that are hard for even him to understand, as he is reacting to inner processes whose origin may be buried deep in his unconscious. – Bruno Bettleheim
I think Bettleheim’s assessment is as applicable to us adults as it is to our children. As technology infiltrates our lives, it is increasingly difficult for all of us to be “on vacation” or “out of touch.” Our moments are crammed full of information and activities – from compulsively checking our smart phones to over-booking our days so we don’t have any time to decompress. The net effect is a slow but sure erosion of our lives into a never-ending to-do list. We may not even know when we need a break.
What I know is that play is a necessary component to a full and fulfilling life. In fact, ritual, play, and creativity are central to the evolution of consciousness and culture.
Ritual – whether it has it’s roots in religious, cultural, or personal expression – allows us to create a symbolic container for our experience and work towards a desired outcome. Rituals allows us to mark something that holds importance to us. It provides a means of working towards a solution or resolution to something that remains unresolved in our lives. Play, on the other hand, refers to the process rather than the outcome. At it’s best, play is a pleasurable expression of our essence and that leads us in unexpected directions.
While ritual is often associated with religion and religious practice, recent research suggests that ritual may be more rational and secular that it appears. According to an article in Scientific American, “even simple rituals can be extremely effective. Rituals performed after experiencing losses – from loved ones to lotteries – do alleviate grief, and rituals performed before high-pressure tasks – like singing in public – do in fact reduce anxiety and increase people’s confidence. What’s more, rituals appear to benefit people who claim not to believe that rituals work. Recently, a series of investigations by psychologists have revealed intriguing new results demonstrating that rituals can have a causal impact on people’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.”
At it’s core, ritual permits us time and space to contemplate and honor meaningful connections in our life, while play takes us outside the parameters of our daily lives and into a sense of timeless creativity.
Dr. Stuart Brown from the National Institute of Play defines play as a voluntary and pleasurable act that “offers a sense of engagement, takes you out of time” and whose efforts are “more important than the outcome.”
The effects of play can be profound as it allows adults and children to express parts of themselves that don’t come out in everyday activities. Further, play creates novel alternatives to otherwise ordinary situations and trains us to have fun. Play also kick-starts our creativity and prompts us to use it in the manifestation of something external to us. This process reveals what is most important to us because we tend to innovate around what we believe is most relevant. Play and ritual are both integral to our understanding of the nature of who we are. When we need a break, turning to play and ritual are a good place to start.
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