4 Signs It\’s Time for a Life Change

by | Mar 27, 2017 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog

When we get hit with a challenging life event, it pushes us, boldly and forcefully, to change. But what about the rest of the time, when nothing is horribly or chaotically wrong? Without the big signposts of high-impact life events, how do you know when its time to change your life, and how do you start to actually take action? It might be a change in a daily activity or it might be a change in a big part of our life. Here are some clues that you are ready for a life change.

  • Unfocused: Do you find yourself unable to complete an essential task, or spacing out while reading a book? Perhaps you need to pay attention to what you are not doing. What I mean is that sometimes we have difficulty focusing on an activity at hand because we are not attending to other parts of our lives. Have you had fun or spent time alone recently? If you’re having trouble focusing on daily activities, doing something you have not been fitting into your life might balance you out and increase your focus.


  • Sleepy: Ok, so, sleepy is really just bored most of the time, but sometimes it is a sign of too much heaviness – you’re still carrying around things that no longer serve you. It is time to freshen things up! What is the new way that you can engage with whatever is boring you to tears? It could be an aspect of your work, it could be a new program that you started.. Find out if there is a fresh way of connecting to what you are doing, or just let it go. Drop the heavy!


  • Grumpy: Are you feeling frustrated when you come to work, does the idea of picking up the phone and talking to that “friend” make you grumble like an old mountain man with a hound dog and a shotgun? When things are healthy they are also happy. The key is to figure out whether you need to let go completely or make smaller changes inside yourself so that you feel more in alignment with what you are doing.


  • Overwhelmed: Are your cupboards a mess, do you have too much to do, or are you over stimulated by your life? Being overwhelmed is the experience of “too much,” or even chaos. You can even have too much of really good stuff because, in the end, too much is too much! So what can you weed out of your life so that you feel less overwhelmed and more at peace on a daily basis?

I help women take action when its time for a life change, so that they can start living the life they have always dreamed of. Click here to learn more about how to find happiness for yourself, with Dr. Kate\’s help.

5 Happiness Practices to Brighten Every Day

by | Mar 20, 2017 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog

Happiness can be a surprisingly fickle thing. Sometimes, a new routine or a new perspective can revitalize your life and sense of well-being. Other times, change presents a challenge to our happiness. Learning how to make your joy and energy resilient to the drain that life’s changes sometimes leave us feeling is a key to safeguarding your happiness.

All too often, we forget that happiness is a skill, and that being skillful takes practice. Here are 5 small things you can do every day to practice your happiness skill-set and safeguard your joy.

  • Happiness Practice #1: Start Positive

    The first few moments of your day can set the tone for the rest of it. So, start each morning with a quiet moment, an affirmation, a journal entry, or any other activity that helps you tune into your feelings and intentions for your day.

  • Happiness Practice #2: Look For It

    Your focus channels your power. Unfortunately, we often focus on what makes us unhappy rather than what brings us joy. Make an effort to recognize what\’s going well in your day and be present to the things you enjoy.

  • Happiness Practice #3: Get Clear On What Makes You Happy

    This may seem like a no-brainer but it\’s actually something we often overlook. What brings you the most pleasure and happiness? Time alone or time with others? A home-cooked meal or take-out and a movie? Becoming conscious of the things you most enjoy means that you will choose them more often.

  • Happiness Practice #4: Say “Thank You”

    To yourself, your partner, your child or co-worker. Make a point to express your gratitude for what\’s working in your life. Showing your appreciation will immediately make you and the person you\’re thanking feel more positive. And, by expressing gratitude for the things the people around you do, you reinforce the positive behavior as well as the positive feeling.

  • Happiness Practice #5: Slow Down

    Slow down and savor the good parts of your life. Pay attention when you\’re eating something delicious. Choose to really listen to your friend while they\’re talking. Take the time to notice what\’s around you on your daily walk or drive. The more you can use your five senses to be present to what you\’re experiencing, the better.

Life is always a mix of things. No matter how bad a day seems, there\’s always something in it that\’s positive. Use the list above to help you focus in on the good that\’s present in life\’s simple, daily events. These simple things can add up quickly and drastically increase your happiness.

7 Myths about Happiness and the Truth that will Set You Free

by | Mar 6, 2017 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog

Establishing a true practice of happiness is an elusive but powerful skill. In its own right, it is a hard goal to achieve. Harder still, however, is chasing the commodified and distorted versions of happiness that we have been taught to seek and think we can achieve.

Happiness has become a myth that has been both downplayed and exalted, made to seem both commonplace and unattainable. Busting the myths of happiness can be an important step toward truly being happy. See which ones might have caught you in their snare and be happier now.


7 Happiness Myths:

You know how to be happy:

I have to start the list with this because it is such a common myth that gets in the way of people being happy. We think that we are supposed to know how to be happy, but I find that most people do not have the skills they need to make themselves truly happy. The good news is that you can learn how to truly be happy and, with a little work, you can get yourself feeling great.


The goal is to be happy all the time:

You can’t be anything all the time and if you were you would likely lose the capacity to recognize it. But you can benefit from moving in the direction of being happier as often as possible. In fact, find time each day to do one thing that makes you happy and you will be feeling the difference in no time.


Happiness is linked to external events:

It does not matter how much money you have or where you are from. True happiness is not about circumstances or possessions, it is our relationship with ourself.


Other people can make you happy:

While being around toxic people will affect your happiness, there is no one who can really make you happy but you. It is important to pay attention to who you feel happy around and who you don’t, but recognize that learning how to make yourself happier can only come from you.


You can be anywhere and be happy:

This one sounds like, “If I just do enough work on myself I will be happy with my crappy job and my unfulfilling relationships.” This has to be on the list because, while happiness is an inside job, losing sight of the impact that outside circumstances have on our happiness is equally problematic. Unload the toxic parts of your life and open up to more happiness.


You need to be somewhere (else) to be happy:

If you are one of those people who keeps looking around the corner or over the horizon for your happiness, I have to tell you, you are not going to find it there. When we chase happiness we don’t find it. We find whatever else we put in its place. The keys to happiness lie within us, not in the next city we plan to move to.


Happiness is available to you regardless of how you act or what you do:

This sounds like, “Happiness is my birthright and I should have it even if I make little effort at my own personal development.” Happiness entitlement gets in our way. It also denies the reality that some of us battle biological predispositions that make attaining happiness even harder. Approach happiness with gratitude, and you invite more of it.

Self-care in your relationships

by | Feb 27, 2017 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog

We often strive to create healthy and satisfying relationships. But sometimes, despite how much we may try, we’re unable to create relationships that are mutually supportive and fulfilling. When this happens, there are several things we can do to bring our best selves to our relationships, and in turn, bring about the positive change we seek.


Get to Know Yourself:

To be your best self in your personal relationships you need to develop your awareness of yourself. What do you value? What do you dream of? What are your strengths? Where are the skills you want to hone? When we ask ourselves these kinds of questions we grow our awareness of ourselves and we can use that awareness to create relationships that are beneficial for everyone involved. Sometimes our personal relationships hit a rough patch. When this happens, your awareness will clue you into how you might be contributing to the difficulty at hand and whether or not that relationship should be maintained.


Love Yourself:


Learning to love yourself is such an important step towards creating healthy relationships. It’s cliché but true – to truly love someone else, you have to love yourself first. This is because we’re unable treat someone better than we treat ourselves. Our limits in loving others comes from our inability to love ourselves. Over the course of our relationships, these limits inevitably come to light. We may compensate for our inabilities by giving more to others than we have – or have allowed ourselves – to receive. Yet, this can set us up for difficulty. If we’re not loving ourselves then we’re likely looking for someone else to give us that sense of being loved. This can be the starting point for lots of problems like dependency, fear of abandonment, and fear of intimacy. To really love ourselves, we need to see the unique value and intrinsic beauty of who we are without any externally imposed definitions. To begin to do this, take the time to tell yourself all the things that you like about yourself. And do it often.


Clear Your History:

Part of showing up as our best selves is to be in the present moment as much as possible. This means that our previous experiences need to be left where they belong – in the past. To do this, people typically undergo a process wherein they remember the past, understand how it affected them and then disentangle themselves from it. There are a number of different tools that people can use to clear themselves of aspects of their past that no longer serve them. For example, there is EFT, Access Consciousness, energy work, Core Energetics, and the list goes on. If you want to create a different baseline for yourself, it’s helpful to find a method that you can use to continually reinforce your new way of being.


To clear your history, try on a few methods that you sense would be a good fit. Then keep an open mind while you see if they’re effective for you. It takes a little while to clear your past from your present, so give this process some time. As you do this your awareness will increase and old feelings might come to the surface. When in a relationship, sometimes it’s helpful to let the other person know when something from your past has been activated and communicate what you need when this happens.


Own your stuff:


Nothing makes a relationship stronger than integrity. The biggest gift you can give yourself is know and own your contributions to your relationships – both in the positive and in the negative. When things get difficult in a relationship, look for the ways that you’ve contributed to the problem. Simply ask yourself: “Is there anything that I would have done better or differently if I had remained in full integrity?” If the answer is yes, then do your best to make right on what you know you could have done better.


When we’re unclear about how our own issues influence our relationships we’re likely to do unintentional damage. When we’re unconscious of our unresolved feelings about our past, we’re more likely to blame, shame and guilt others when those unresolved feelings are triggered. It’s only when we’re aware of our contributions to the state of our relationships and able to stay in our integrity that we can create environments in which our relationships can thrive.


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The difference between self-indulgence and self-care

by | Feb 20, 2017 | Dr. Heléna Kate's Blog

Regardless of how hard we try, life can intrude upon our best laid plans and we can lose our grasp on the activities that help keep us healthy and happy. Once off track, it becomes even easier to get more off track as each infraction depletes us until we no longer feel very good. Remembering what to do when we start to get off track to take care of ourselves is so important. Being able to discern between what might just feel good (self-indulgence) and what will truly get us back on track (self-care) is key.

What\’s the difference between self-care and self-indulgence?

There is a sneaky underbelly to self-care. Sometimes what we call self-care is actually self-indulgence, sabotage, or avoidance. How do we tell the difference between what honors and takes care of us and what might just be another reason we are not where we want to be.

Self-care is an activity that strengthens, nourishes, or develops who we are at our core. It supports us in the full expression of our essence. 
 Self-indulgence is something that feels really good but does not have additional benefits beyond feeling good. It is an activity that gives us momentary pleasure but does not move us in the direction of our full expression.




It does not so much matter what it is that we are doing as much as the effect that it is having on us. One person\’s self-care might be another person\’s self-indulgence. A self-care act one day might turn into self-indulgence if used too often.




How do I tell the difference between self-care and self-indulgence?

To be able to tell the difference, we need to develop our capacity to feel the difference. Just as we can taste the difference in food that has a high nutrient content and food that is relatively empty, we can begin to tell the difference between the activities that truly are self-care and those that are just nice distractions.
 As we practice acts of self-care we become more and more attune to what it really is and more adept at choosing what is in service of what we really want.




If you are uncertain about whether your actions are self-care actions, you can gain clarity by asking yourself the question: Am I getting closer to feeling the way that I want to feel or reaching the goals that I am trying to reach? If you can answer yes you are likely taking self-care actions. If your answer is maybe or no, then you are likely caught up in some kind of self-indulgence.




What can I do?

If you want to return to your self-care after a time of self-indulgence, connect in with the core of who you are and ask yourself what activities will strengthen, nourish or develop this essence. 

Take the next step and learn more!